Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: B | 4 USERS: A

School. Willow, Xander, and Oz are excitedly discussing the game, but they shush when Buffy approaches so she won't think they were having fun without her. Cordy approaches and says something pointless and then goes off to talk with her herd. Xander looks over and says in that tinny TV voice that can only mean telepathy is going down, "I wonder if she and Wesley have kissed." Buffy remarks about how much that bugs him and Xander mutters, "Man, you read my mind." Close-up on Buffy as she figures out what aspect the demon gave her.

Buffy walks down the hall, picking up thoughts from random passersby. She passes one boy who thinks how attractive Buffy is. She stops to pose briefly to facilitate his admiration, but quickly scurries off when his thoughts turn more lascivious.

Library. Buffy is talking to Giles about her new fun power, and she seems excited that she's not getting a tail because finding jeans that fit is hard enough as it is. Don't have to tell me twice. Although what problems Buffy would have squeezing her bony little ass into some denim, I can't imagine. Giles isn't convinced that it's true mind-reading, but Buffy trumps him by repeating that he recently mentally mocked her shoes: "'If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'" Giles is agape, but makes the logical leap that the demons didn't need mouths because they communicate telepathically. Again, Buffy is excited to start having fun with her new power.

English class. A teacher is lecturing on Othello. Buffy cribs the answers from other students' minds, annoying a Tracy-Flick-like girl sitting next to her and astounding Willow, who thinks, "Buffy did the reading? Buffy understood the reading?" Freddy of the misanthropic editorials dismissively thinks, "Look at them, scrambling for the teacher's praise like pigeons for old bread crusts," and then decides he should write that down because it's "deep."

Next stop, Overcompensation Estates. Angel goes to answer the door, but Buffy sweeps the curtains back letting in sunlight and nearly immolating Angel. She blabs on and makes her way to the couch; as they walk, I notice all these stray beams of sunlight on the walls and floor. I guess Angel likes living in an obstacle course or something. Buffy sits and blathers on not at all subtly, bringing the conversation around to Faith. Angel sits there like a stump. Buffy probes again but isn't picking up anything. The first time I saw this, I cackled gleefully at the implication that Angel was just an empty-headed, man-pretty clunk, but then he tells Buffy that her parlor-trick powers won't work on him because, like with mirrors, "The thoughts are there but they create no reflection in [Buffy]." Buffy is disappointed, and then Angel tells her that she doesn't have to play these games; she can just talk to him if something is on her mind. Angel asks what Buffy wants to know about, and proceeds to list the main concerns on Buffy's mind -- mainly, how did Angel feel about the whole evil charade. As long as it's question hour, maybe Angel can tell me why he finds it necessary to wear such skanky gold man-jewelry. Angel reassures Buffy that he hated every minute that he was forced to hurt her, and that he's not interested in bad girls because he has had "dozens of girls like [Faith]." Were they all blind? I mean, the hair? Angel continues that, in all of 243 years, he's "loved exactly one person." Buffy takes this in and then slides closer and whispers, "It is me, right?" Angel gently admonishes her, "Next time just ask." He then warns her that she should be careful with her new midway freak-show act, because things that seem good on the surface can be painful. Like David Boreanaz. And his acting. But somehow I don't think that's what he was talking about.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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