Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: B | 4 USERS: A

Library. Buffy fills in the rest of the gang on the recent development of her new power. Xander worriedly tries not to think about sex, but fails. Miserably. He attempts to recite the times tables in his head: "Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two," but then interjects, "Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy." Buffy asks churlishly if that's all Xander can think about. Xander: "Actually. Bye." He bolts. Willow is excited at first, but then worries that Buffy will understand Oz in a way she never can and that Buffy will no longer need her as a friend. Oz, bless him, thinks, "I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me. She becomes me. I cease to exist." Out loud this becomes, "Hmmm." Predictably, Cordelia thinks exactly what she says. One by one, Buffy drives away all her friends. The cheese stands alone. Disgusted, Buffy leaves as well.

Buffy walks down the hall, barraged by everyone's painful, painful thoughts.

Giles. Researching. He finds a case similar to Buffy's, except that the man in question has had to go into complete isolation to avoid being driven insane.

Cafeteria. Buffy stands in the lunch line. She's getting more and more disturbed and distracted by everyone's thoughts. She slowly makes her way to a table, and the din grows louder until one thought comes through clearly, "This time tomorrow. I'll kill you all!" Buffy drops her tray in shock. The room applauds. Buffy goes around grabbing people, trying to find the source of the voice she heard. She puts her hands to her head to block out everything, and the camera goes all wiggly to indicate dizziness until Buffy faints.

Buffy comes to under a tree with the gang looking down at her. I know California public schools are under-funded, but wouldn't they still have a nurse's office? Buffy sits up and reveals that she's wearing some bizarre metal rods in her hair, which are totally distracting me until I figure out that Buffy isn't telepathic at all! It's just that her hair ornaments are acting like antennae and picking up everyone's cell phone conversations. Buffy insists she's fine and then tells Giles about the death threat she just overheard. She tries to walks back into the school but only gets a few steps before she's overwhelmed by random thoughts. Then the Scooby Gang thoughts start to bother her. Giles offers to take her home while Buffy tells them to check out everyone who was in the cafeteria. Giles walks Buffy to the car and tries to reassure her when Buffy asks if she'll be okay. Giles says, "You'll be fine. I promise." Giles thinks, "If it doesn't go away she'll go insane." Good job there, Mr. Mental Discipline.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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