Buffy the Vampire Slayer
End Of  Days

Episode Report Card
Sep: C- | 2 USERS: B+
Lo! The Prodigal Slayer Returns!

Cut to The Sunnydale Free-Range Bringer Farm, Winery, and Former Monastery. Caleb, in a rage, throws a huge barrel of wine against the wall. He's all mad that First Buffy let Supposedly Not Evil But Still Decidedly Bitchy Buffy go. She reminds him that he's weak right now. "Face it. Your strength is waning." And has been, apparently, since the last time they "merged." Oh, so now this is a weird creepy sex thing? I saw enough weird and creepy sex things last week, thanks. But no, First Buffy morphs into some misty CGI creature and then, uh, enters Caleb. What? Huh? Why? How? Don't get your hopes up that you'll ever get any answers at this point. Once you stop caring, it's much easier to overlook this kind of thing. Or, y'know, if you can't stop caring, you can always start drinking. That's what's gotten me through this season.

Faith is next on Buffy's obligatory re-bonding rounds, or whatever the hell is going on in this episode. Faith's lying in bed, her face relaxed in pleasure, as Buffy says, "You feel it too, don't you?" But they're not talking about Faith feeling anything of Buffy's except her shiny red axe. Faith can feel the power in it, and she fondles it, explaining, "It's old, it's strong, and it feels like…like it's mine." I'll avoid making any Principal Wood jokes here. Buffy stands next to the bed and looks disapproving with her Annoyed Arms Of Emotional Withholding. That's not really as catchy as "Angry Arms," is it? Faith realizes that since she turned down the spin-off deal, she won't catch a break from the script-writers or Buffy, so she quickly tosses the axe down beside her, saying that if it feels like it's hers, it must actually belong to Buffy. Buffy doesn't really quibble and picks the axe back up. Girls fondling phallic symbols and gushing over the enormous power contained within -- gotcha. Buffy sits on the bed and asks Faith if it matters who functions as "the Slayer in charge." Faith hikes herself up a little and claims it never mattered to her. Really? I'm not so sure I believe her. Faith jokes that they should appoint Chao-Ahn as head Slayer, since "it's harder to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English." Buffy's all, "Oh, it wasn't your fault," and Faith's all, "I blew it," so Buffy launches into her one-hundredth rendition this season of The "People Die In Battle -- Ain't That A Bitch" Blues. In return, Faith launches into some self-exploration that doesn't really get off the ground before she reveals to Buffy that she partook of Robin's wood. She giggles about his stamina, but Buffy is squicked that Faith did the Principal in her bed. Oh, okay -- I can't stand Buffy these days, but I think she has a point there.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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