Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 2 USERS: A
Secrets And Lies

On cue at the empty building where we last saw her, Darcy or Shannon or whatever her name is pushes aside the rubble she was buried under and stands up. "Okay. Now I'm upset." Me too, Cookie. Me too.

Over at UCS, everyone is helping Buffy move out of her dorm room that we've never seen before. Oh, how incredibly pointless. Buffy remarks that Giles isn't helping with the heavy lifting. "Well, I saw myself in more of a patriarchal sort of role. You know. Lots of pointing and scowling," replies Giles with a cutesy little smile. And then he...wait for it. Points and scowls at Xander and Riley, who are tussling like overgrown puppies on the floor. Xander protests that "he called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might have been Latin." Tara grins at their antics as Buffy threatens to break some heads, and the boys straighten up. Xander wonders why Buffy is giving up the "cherry corner suite," and Buffy tries to play it off that she'd rather be at home where her mother is and try to save money at the same time. Yeah, I imagine that leather-pants-of-the-month club is sucking the old wallet dry, eh Buff? Xander points out the two doors, which provide "a lot of opportunity for bawdy French farce, and everyone loves bawdy..." "Where's Dawn?" interrupts Buffy. False alarm. Dawn was only pawing over Buffy's misappropriated CD collection. The gang talks tough about taking down Heather or Sandy or whatever her name is. Tara tries to join in with a "yeah. You learn her source and we'll introduce her to her insect reflection." The gang just looks at her like she farted, and Tara declares that it's funny if you're Wiccan, "and a complete dork," under her breath. "Then how come Xander didn't laugh?" is Riley's question. Heh. I actually don't mind Riley when he's interacting with Xander or Giles. On her way to the car, Tara runs into Willow, on her way for another box. Once inside, Willow reminds everyone to be at the Bronze by eight tomorrow night for Tara's birthday fete. The gang has obviously forgotten about the occasion, despite Xander's assertion that he's already picked out a gift. Willow worries that everyone won't be able to attend because of the new evil that is afoot, but Buffy assures her that they could all "use a break from this craziness."

Which segues rather nicely into another gibbering disturbed person being wheeled down the halls of Sunnydale General by an unnamed intern. The unnamed intern runs into the only other intern Sunnydale General has, Greasy Intern Ben. Unnamed Intern expositions to Ben that this woman "makes five this month." "They told me Sunnydale was going to be interesting," is Greasy Ben's response. Greasy Ben then goes into the locker room and...ugh. Takes off his shirt. Ah. Gratuitous nakedness of tertiary, recurring, and nonessential character + washboard abs = blatant attempt at manipulation. This also tells us that Joss has something in store for Greasy Intern Ben. Hopefully things involving a lot of soap, water, and clarifying shampoo, and preferably taking place off-screen. The camera pans down other rows of lockers to reveal an ugly, sore-covered demon creeping towards Ben, tasting the air with his tongue. Go demon! Kill! Indiscriminately! Unfortunately, Sheila or Lisa or whoever clamps a hand over its mouth and says, "I need a favor."

"Please come again for more purchases!" calls out Anya brightly from behind the counter. Giles suggests that she be a bit less effusive, but Anya is just happy to be a "working gal" in such close proximity to money. Enter Xandman and the Buffster. They're chittin' and chattin' about Tara's party. Buffy sort of shrugs it off, but Xander reminds her how important it is to Willow before going over to swap spit with Anya. I'd like to observe a moment of silence here to commemorate the fact that Xander is the least offensively dressed person in this shot. Giles leads Buffy to a table covered in books. Buffy scoffs at the lack of information that Giles has turned up, but Giles points out that Buffy didn't give him much to work with. "I'm pretty sure she dyes her hair," offers Buffy, and Giles sarcastically replies, "Ah yes. Well, of course, our work is done." Ha! Xander and Buffy sit down, ostensibly to continue researching, but as soon as Giles has disappeared upstairs Buffy quizzes Xander instead on what he bought for Tara's birthday. Xander admits that his response was "a tangled web of lies" necessitated by the fact that he doesn't really know Tara that well. They discuss how they don't "get" Tara but that she's "really nice." "There's just that thing...of not understanding," Buffy trails off. "Half of what she says?" supplies Xander. "But she's super nice!" amends Buffy. Yeah. Okay. We've established that Tara is Canadian. Can we move on now? Thanks. So. Buffy and Xander wonder if everyone at the party will be getting Wiccy with it and hope that they'll be able to fit in. Buffy slams her book shut with a groan and complains about her "present-buying" headache. Xander points over his shoulder and suggests that Buffy go "work off the tension."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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