Buffy the Vampire Slayer
First Date

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Ace: C | Grade It Now!
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More like "last date"

Back upstairs, Tiny Evil Jonathan advances on Andrew, menacing, "Do you think you can trick The First? Do you think you can squirm free? I hold you, Andrew, I made you do this." Tiny Evil Jonathan touches its chest and then reaches its palms toward Andrew, and they're covered with blood. "Jonathan suffered. He was your friend and he trusted you and now he spends eternity in pain because of what you did," says Tiny Evil Jonathan sadly. It then begins to decompose, probably emulating Tiny Dead But Good Jonathan's current physical state, and declares that Andrew has to keep going down the path of evil that he's already set his feet upon. Andrew tells him, "You're trying to get me to shoot innocent girls but I won't do it. I'm gay now." Er, "good now." Whatever. My version is more plausible. Also? Stop the redemption! I wanna get off. Andrew continues, "When the fight is over, I'm gonna pay for killing Jonathan." Tiny Evil Jonathan tells him that he's going to pay for a lot more than that, because he pissed off the biggest, baddest evil in all the universe. Which is now going to talk everyone to death. Cut down to the basement. As Willow hears, "You think this was smart?" the First's voice changes. Kennedy removes her headphones, pointing out that everyone in the basement can clearly hear Tiny Evil Jonathan. Then Tiny Evil Jonathan appears in the basement wearing a half-rotted corpse. "So many dead girls. There'll be so many," he threatens before blipping out. Yawn. Y'know, although this episode isn't anywhere near what I would call good, it didn't actively hurt me to watch it. However, it did make it really, really obvious that this show is being made in the spare seconds left between really, really long pizza and doobie runs.

Cut to Xander, who is all trussed up on the Wheel! Of! Torture! over the Seal of Danzig. Oh, obviously. But how did he GET there? I wish the writers would return to considering the "how" and the "why" important parts of the story that need to be told. Ashanti thanks Xander for helping her pick out the ropes that she's used to tie him up, and seems pleased when Xander admits that they're hurting him. Poor Xander's tummy succumbs to the siren call of gravity, and it just makes it even that much worse that they've tied a wide belly-band around his midriff. Y'know, whenever I read interviews with him, Nick Brendon always seems so nice. He's always on ME's side, supporting their decisions, and is genuinely happy that he's even working at all in Hollywood instead of whinging about conditions on the set or what have you. And this is how they repay him? Why would they do this to him? Why do they make him bare his floppy fish belly on national television? Especially after the endless exposure we've had to James Marsters's unrealistically sculpted physique, which looks like it was hewn out of a single piece of plastic? Why would anyone write this plot for Nick? And couldn't they have chosen shots that would flatter him even a tiny bit? I feel sorry for the guy and wonder what in the hell he did to piss the writing staff off so much. Did he forget Jane Espenson's birthday, or maybe scratch her new car in parking lot?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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