Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Fool For Love

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 16 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Fool To Cry

The Bronze, 2000. Buffy leans on the pool table as Spike explains how he became obsessed with the Slayer. Most vampires were scared of the Chosen One, but he sought her out in his quest for death and glory. Buffy, all business, just wants to know how he killed the first Slayer. Spike ambles behind her and, saying, "Funny you should ask," quickly grabs her by the neck and the arm that's holding a pool cue. Buffy is incapacitated as Spike tells her, "A Slayer must always reach for her weapon." He morphs into game face and continues, "I've already got mine." I'll leave any search for double entendres therein up to our more nasty-minded readers. It's Ace -- Miss Hansen if you're nasty. Spike shakes his vampire face off like a soggy dog and smiles. He takes his hand off her neck and steps away with the pool cue, explaining that vampires have nothing to fear, except "one girl." "That's you, honey," he helpfully finishes. Yeah, five years into the show and we're clear on that concept, Spike-baby. "Back then, it was her."

A room lit only by a red glow. A Chinese slayer in a black silk outfit fights Spike in some sort of temple. She's light and graceful on her feet, fighting with a long sword. We see her execute a series of rapid moves and then she slashes Spike across his eyebrow, leaving the scar he still bears today. Out in the streets, fires burn and terrified peasants run in every direction. The caption reads, "China, 1900," and then "Boxer Rebellion." Spike and the Slayer fight. He manages to get her sword point jammed into a statue, so she comes after him with only her fists and feet. She almost has him, her skinny ornate stake poised above his heart, when there's an explosion right outside the window and she's thrown to the ground. She recovers, but Spike manages to wrench her arm and make her drop the stake. As she scrabbles after it, he grabs her and twists her into an embrace. He plunges his fangs into her neck and feeds. He raises her head, mouth streaming with blood, and the Slayer turns to him and quietly says something in Chinese, which the subtitles translate to "Tell my mother -- I'm sorry." Pause. "I'm sorry, love. I don't speak Chinese," snarls Spike and throws her corpse to the ground.

Still in the temple, Boxer rebellion. Fires rage outside in the streets. Drusilla, wearing white gown, wafts into the temple, moaning about the "mess" Spike has made. She calls him naughty and wicked and then reaches her hand out to him. He comes towards her with predatory confidence and suddenly grabs her into a tight embrace. Dru gasps in pleasure. I'm getting embarrassed just recapping this naughtiness. Spike asks if Dru ever heard that the blood of a Slayer is a powerful aphrodisiac and then holds his bloody finger up to her mouth, telling her to have a taste. Dru -- well, Dru fellates his finger and moans. Sheesh. I'm blushing here. It's a good thing I didn't take that job with www.reallybigsmut.com. Five minutes of an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries and I would have blushed myself into an early grave. Spike lifts Dru and slams her against the wall. They kiss passionately, wildly, and sink to the floor. Later, as the rebellion rages on, Dru and Spike wander the streets, blissfully unaware and all post-coital. They run into Darla and Angelus, and Dru brags that Spike just killed a Slayer. Spike sticks his tongue out in a leering fashion. Angelus, looking like he has bad lower-intestinal pain, grumbles, "Congratulations. I guess that makes you one of us." Spike snickers and tells Angelus he'll let him have a crack at the next Slayer. Dru smells intoxicating fear in the streets, but Angelus is in no mood for fun, and like the big party-pooper he is, he grabs Darla and grumps off, saying the rebellion is beginning to bore him. Spike and Dru giggle and cuddle. More shots of the terror in the streets and then a slow-mo shot of Spike walking towards the camera, flames behind him, his face still splashed with the Slayer's blood. All four of the vampires walk abreast; Spike jumps up over a barrel and glowers into the camera.

Squeezing a lime into his mouth in the present-day Bronze, Spike explains, "That was the best night of my life." Buffy is staring at him and finally sneers, "You got off on it." Spike cocks an eyebrow and expresses disbelief that she claims she doesn't, but Buffy tosses off a little body language that screams, "Of course I don't, you freak." He tells her that she can kill vampires, can keep killing vampires, but all it will take is the one thing all vampires hope for. When Buffy inquires what that is, Spike steps up to her and breathes, "One. Good. Day." She shoves him away, and he responds by telling her she thinks she's immortal. She denies this, and he tries to prove the point by demanding, "Then how do you explain this?" and punching her in her wound. She shouts, he grabs his head and shouts, and everybody in the Bronze stares at the weirdoes next to the pool table. Spike tells her the lesson isn't over.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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