Nighttime. Buffy wanders through her house. She's wearing an awfully unflattering velour sweatshirt that makes her breasts look like two little mashed pancakes. We see that the living room is full of sleeping girls; they're dozing in chairs and on the floor. Buffy picks up a book about Greek language, then drops it on the living room desk because it's all Greek to her. The desk is covered in other foreign-language dictionaries, presumably being employed to communicate with the Junior Misses who don't speak English. Well, it's better than shouting at them and gesticulating broadly, I suppose. And let's pretend they ordered all those books off Amazon.com through the TWoP support link, okay? Buffy clicks off a light and wanders upstairs. She opens the door to a bedroom (her own?) and checks out the five or more girls crashed in there. She peers in through the connecting door to Dawn's (I think) room, and sees even more sleeping girls. Throughout all this, music of great saccharine poignancy is playing on the soundtrack. Buffy hears a sob, and turns to see one of the Junior Misses crouched in a corner on the landing. "Chloe?" she asks, amending, "It is Chloe, right?" Is Chloe crying because she's been missing for a number of episodes and nobody noticed? Maybe she ran away to the backyard with her snacks and pajamas all wrapped up in a little hobo bundle because she thought someone would come looking for her but nobody did. Buffy takes a few steps towards the crying girl and then gets tackled down the staircase by a figure who turns out to be the First Slayer. The First Slayer tells Buffy, "It's not enough!" Buffy wakes up gasping and looks around her room at the sleeping Junior Misses on the floor.
Spike and Anya are walking down an alley. Anya bitches about what a mistake she made when she "let [herself] become human again." Let herself? As I recall, she had no choice in the matter. She was all set to sacrifice her life to reverse her vengeance on the frat boys, and instead D'Hoffryn toasted Halfrek and turned Anya into a human. As one of the two decent episodes this season, I remember "Selfless" pretty well. Luckily, my mind has a special protection setting that blanks out all the crap episodes so I can sleep at night. Anyway, Anya's all "being human is yucky" and Spike's all mopey and sedated in his sloppy t-shirt and army jacket. He makes a little offhand comment about Anya not being so yucky, and she simpers. She goes on to complain about staying at Buffy's with all the multitudes of little girls, and Spike looks around impatiently as she rambles on. He replies that his plan to deal with it all is to get drunk as often as possible, which seems like a risky hobby for someone who could be repossessed by Evil at any moment and shouldn't be lowering his inhibitions. Or maybe it would make him less useful, especially if he drinks until he loses all motor control? Hmm. As they continue walking towards the bar, Anya slips her arm through Spike's and says, "Thanks for having me along. At first, I thought, 'Weird. Is Spike asking me out on a date?' Because that would just be nuts." Spike is utterly baffled by Anya's behavior here, I guess because he doesn't know that Giles only takes Anya out to dark alleys on dates. If Spike had walked Anya along a Sunnydale street to the bar rather than down an alley, they likely wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Shame on Anya for her wandering eye as soon as Giles leaves town, though. Still having lingering hard feelings about the crappy non-Valentine's day non-present he didn't get for her last episode? With very embarrassed body language, Spike assures Anya he's just out to get some alcohol, and she seems to understand he's not interested. Seems to, until she makes a joke about drinking him under the table and then joining him there. Then she's says she's kidding because she "likes [her] sex on top of the table." She seems mostly nervous and not very lusty here, and I'm wondering if this is her strange Anya way of initiating a conversation about their liaison last season. She could be uncomfortable with that memory and want to discuss it to clear the air. Of course, neither of these characters have shown any sign of even remembering they had sex up until this point, so I could be wrong. But otherwise, I'm confused as to why the writers felt an "Anya hits on Spike" scene would be useful or illuminating addition to this episode. Spike blows up and snaps, "Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone!" Anya replies, "So what?" which is my general reaction to everything Spike-related, and Spike explains, "It's my bone. Just drop it." Just then, a demon attacks Anya and tosses her to the ground with a message from Anya's former boss: "D'Hoffryn says you die." Spike knocks out the demon with two punches and helps Anya up off the ground. They run away. Spike, you run like a spazz!
Buffy sits at her desk and Principal Wood stands behind her. They're disciplining a "couple of chuck-heads who thought that a cafeteria fistfight would impress." Wood is not impressed. He dismisses the boys and expositions about how chaos is growing at the school, with fights, missing kids, and rising vandalism. He wants to know if "it" has started. "It" being the devouring from beneath that we haven't heard about in quite a few episodes, I guess. Buffy agrees that "the Hellmouth has begun its semi-annual percolation." In an unfunny meta-comment I totally missed on first viewing, she adds that things usually come to a head around May. Yeah, we all have to sit around and labor through sixteen episodes of filler waiting for May sweeps to get any action. It's not something to joke about, people. I'm utterly filled to the brim with not caring about this conversation between Buffy and Wood. He's worried about how "big" things are coming and plops a leather satchel on Buffy's desk, saying he's decided to give it to her. He explains it's an "emergency kit" that belonged to his mother. Okay, fine. But no, they have to go and make it all improbable when Wood adds, "Technically, it should have been passed down directly to you through the years, but after my mother died I just couldn't part with it." Dude, he was four, and we know his mother's Watcher lived. Why would he have had any choice in hanging onto it? They could have just left it at the perfectly reasonable explanation that Wood inherited the bag from his mother (maybe with a comment about how Nikki researched the origins of the Slayer or something) instead of making it problematic by insisting that it was an artifact that was stolen from the Slayer line by someone who had just graduated pre-school. That's it. I'm nominating this bit of dialogue as the thin brown line of the episode. What, you may ask, is this thin brown line? It's the bit of dialogue that distinguishes the mediocre but non-offensive from utter crap. And I would rant that we've never heard about the bag before, but some sharp-eyed viewers say this is the one Buffy had in her dream in "Restless," so kudos to the strange and random continuity there. Buffy gives an appreciative "Wow," and Wood says that the contents of the bag "have something to do with [the Slayer's] power." Buffy thanks him, after some prompting. Oh, Joyce. I know you raised your daughter better than that. Wood then says he wants to see where Buffy works, and Buffy giggles and shows him her desk and pencils. Wood smiles indulgently, but then says commandingly, "No. Where you do your other work." You're the boss, boss.