Willow, Cordy, and Xander pedeconference as Willow takes us over the boring Snyder meeting again. Xander's outraged at the special treatment for athletes, while Cordy thinks it's a fact of life. Xander asks about the principle that "all men are created equal," and Cordy responds that it's "propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving." I think the show has sufficiently characterized Cordy as a princess and Xander as a common man at this point, so unless they're going to put on a stage performance of A Streetcar Named Desire, I think it's time to move on. I will, however, note that there's a really, really bad dub of one of Cordy's lines -- the one where she's responding to Willow about Thomas Jefferson. Xander whines that Buffy's not there to share his outrage about swim team perks: "She's too busy being one of them." Xander, if the girls' swim team asked you to lick mildew out of their showers, you'd lap it up like it was chocolate syrup, so enough with the bullshit, all right? I've had enough for one episode, and we're only eight minutes in.
Cameron pulls into the parking lot with Buffy in the passenger seat. He's blathering on about the ocean, again, and asks if she's ever heard of a woman named Gertrude Ederly. Buffy says no, the boredom on her face making her look like no one so much as, well, me. He says that she was the first woman to swim the English Channel, and that she'd carry on entire conversations with the ocean. God, the poor dolphins. Catching them in tuna nets and dumping garbage in their home isn't enough -- now we're trying to bore them to death. And I can only imagine there was a disproportionate number of whales beaching themselves the day old Gertie came chuggin' through. Buffy finally butts in to thank him for hanging out with no romantic pressure, which is Cameron's cue to ask her if she's wearing a bra. I guess the moral is that while a few teenage boys may be fish, they're all still pigs. Buffy tries to get out of the car, but Cameron locks the doors and tells her to relax, as he's not going to hurt her. Buffy: "It's not me I'm worried about." Hee. Cameron: "You like it rough." Okay, I give up. Which Lifetime hitchhiking drama were Cameron's lines lifted from? Anyway, Buffy does me a great service by twisting Cameron's arm and shoving his face into the steering wheel. The resultant honk makes me chuckle. Unfortunately, it also grabs the attention of a passing Snyder, who beckons Buffy out of the car as Cameron complains that Buffy broke his nose. Well, maybe the swelling will delay your Unibrow from coming into being, Cam.