Okay, I've just put gas in the recapping tank -- in other words, I've consumed an entire two-liter bottle of Diet Coke. And believe me, to get through this episode, I'm gonna need it.
We open on a beach party. Cordy, Xander, and Willow stand by a fire as Xander complains about the cold. Wuss. There's free beer! We learn that the party is to celebrate the swim team's "victory." Xander blathers something about them not being much of a team and blah blah blah jealousycakes. Cordy opines that it's about time the school excelled at something. Willow reminds her about their high mortality rate, and she grins, because dead classmates are funny! I probably would have chuckled in high school, too, now that I think of it. We pan past a group of kids drinking and talking and generally having a good time -- like, tough concept considering the beer is paid for -- and reach a morose-looking Buffy sitting by herself. Okay, I can understand why Buffy wants to be alone, but if they're going to make me believe that the girl who's been on more teen magazine covers than I can count wouldn't have several drunk 'n' horny teenage guys falling all over her, they could at least give her some sort of blemish. Or maybe go wild with the crimping iron. Anyway, backing me up somewhat, some guy finally comes up to her, and they wax "poetic" about how the ocean is beautiful and "eternal." Well, one of those adjectives apply to this scene. He goes on with some crap about how the ocean is like a mother, and dude, if you want to get away with spouting putrid cheese like that, I'd advise you to swim a few laps in the pretty pool posthaste. Buffy, for no reason that I can see other than she's being polite, smiles and asks him, "So, Cameron Walker, you just won the state semi-finals. What are you gonna do next?" He replies that he's going to hang out with her and get to know her. His eyebrows are like two bushy caterpillars tentatively reaching out to each other like the fingers in Michelangelo's Creation Of Adam. All behold the miracle of the Unibrow. She starts to slow him down, but he tells her there's no pressure (until he gets horny). They're interrupted by the commotion of a tall swimmer-looking guy holding Jonathan's head in the keg water. We get a couple underwater shots looking up at Jonathan's submerged face, and sadly, I had occasion to use my Huey Lewis "I Want A New Drug" joke already in my first Oz recap, so let's just move along, shall we?