Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Grave (2)

Episode Report Card
Ace: C | 4 USERS: B
The Power Of Lurve

Xander, Dawn, Jonathan, and Andrew walk down a residential street. Dawn wants to know where they're going. Xander doesn't know. He then takes a good wallow in the puddle of angry self-loathing, with some extra splashes of self-pity. He complains that he was just "standing around like a monkey" while Buffy and Tara got shot. Dawn bitches him out for feeling sorry for himself and then adds, "You know, if Spike were here, he'd go back and fight." Shut. Up. Dawn. You insufferable little whiner. "Sure, if he wasn't too busy trying to rape your sister," snaps Xander. Go, Xander! Go, Xander! All this protecting of Poor Widdle Dawn, who then goes around misinterpreting and being all self-righteous in her utter lack of knowledge, has really tired me out and I am so, so happy to see her get a good strong dose of the truth. All the Scoobies were one thousand times more mature than her when they were her age, and I hope this is the kick in the ass she needs to finally do some growing up. Dawn looks shocked and says she doesn't believe it; Xander's like, "Fine. Whatever. Be a moron. See if I care." He's through with her, and so am I. Xander grouses that the only good thing Spike ever did was to leave town, and I'm not even going to give the Blondie Bear points for that. Too little. Too late.

Aw, shit. Another one of these endless, pointless Spike scenes. He's beheaded a few demons and looks a little worse for wear. Sucking in his stomach and his cheeks simultaneously (never let it be said that I don't appreciate James Marsters's consummate sucking abilities), Spike bravados that he's up for another test, and tosses in yet another one of his homophobic quips. All this outrage over Mutant Enemy's killing off a lesbian character, and yet I never hear a peep about Spike's repeated and incessant use of homosexual slurs to denigrate men he doesn't like. If I started calling Xander a big fudge-packer every time he did something I didn't like, I'd never hear the end of it. And yet Spike is still charming and swoony and no, no, not at all homophobic or misogynist.

Anyway, Spike snarls that he wants to give the Slayer "what's coming to her." Your penis, right, Spike? That's what you think she has coming to her, whether she likes it or not. Some dung beetles crawl up Spike's nose, because they know a big, steaming pile of shit when they see it. So all he has to do here is endure some pain? Not much of a challenge when you're immortal. What kind of lame-ass trials are these? Why don't these wish-granting demons ever have tests of say, intelligence, creativity, or ingenuity -- or Trivia Pursuit skills? Killing a bunch of things is hardly a challenge for Spike; he's used to it. Try getting him to patiently parallel park a large car in a small space on a crowded street. That might actually challenge him in some significant way.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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