The guests are restless in their seats. Carol's daughter complains that she is bored. Carol snits, "It's a wedding, honey. We're all bored." Ha! Buffy rushes up the aisle, but stops in confusion as the musicians prematurely orchestrate the wedding march. She throws them a "cut it out" sign and goes up to tell the minister what the what is. Smiling broadly at the assembled, Buffy goes back down the aisle, and the stupid orchestra plays the recessional despite the fact that no wedding has, as of yet, taken place and therefore there is nothing to recess from. Mr. Harris gets up to keep the bar company, and the guests all shrug in confusion.
Anya. Pacing. Upset.
At the bar, Mr. and Mrs. Harris discuss how this is all Anya's fault. In the hall, Hallie starts to bitch to D'Hoffryn, and Carol tells Buffy that she's gotta "do something." Buffy takes her place up at the mike and asks who is from out of town. Nobody moves a muscle. Clem, noting this, enthusiastically hoists his hand high into the air! Aw. Clem's just trying to help out. I like that Clem. He's always willing to lend a loosely-skinned hand. It's funny, but I remember hating him when we were introduced. I guess he was just really drunk or something. First impressions can sometimes go awry.
Out on the porch, Dawn and a teenage demon discuss who has the most screwed-up family. It's a draw. At this point, it appears to no longer be raining; it is, in fact, very sunny. ["Pathetic fallacy bait-and-switch alert!" -- Sars]
Inside, Buffy entertains the crowd with Charades. The first word is "bull," and Buffy looks pretty cute making little bull horns with her fingers. She grins and points to whoever shouted out the correct guess.
Anya stomps resolutely down the hall with Tara running after her. Anya declares that "this bride waits for no one."
Buffy and Krelvin juggle for the crowd. The crowd applauds.
Coming in from outside, Dawn's little friend asks what's taking so long. Dawn fills him in on the Xander disappearance, just in time for Anya to round the corner and overhear, "The groom? He took off and no one can find him." "What do you mean Xander's missing?" panics Anya. Aaaaand now the whole place knows. Uncle Rory tries to insist that Xander's just playing a joke, and then segues into a story about an ape suit, but Squiddly just isn't in the mood. Mr. Harris throws down the gauntlet: "Drinking is the only way I can dull the pain of looking at your ugly face." Squiddly gets up and smacks at Pa Harris with his squiddly bits. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Up on the stage, Buffy rolls her eyes, then looks concerned. But not concerned enough to jump into the melee. Tara gets caught in the battle royale, although it looks more like she's just milling around than actually trapped, and Willow pulls her "to safety." They hold hands and simper. Blah. I'm really glad we got to see that instead of, say, any mention of Giles. ["Giles who? He's never going to get a mention. It's the first immutable law of departed characters, otherwise known as 'The Brenda Effect.'" -- Sep] I'm sure this whole fight concept looked amusing on paper, but it's hella dull to watch. Anya wades into the fray, asking if anyone has seen Xander. Carol points out Overcoat Oldster, saying she saw Xander speaking with him earlier. Anya makes her way over and asks Overcoat Oldster what he and Xander were talking about. "If you said something to make him leave " she says in a vaguely threatening tone. Overcoat Oldster pronounces that Anya is "still as vindictive as ever," and she's confused that this guy seems to know her. Overcoat Oldster tells her, "He left because of you." "I didn't do anything," rebuts Anya, in genuine confusion. "Oh really?" snaps Overcoat Oldster. "What about this?" And then, as so often happens in Sunnydale, he morphs into a big demon.