Still with Buffy, Xander puts on his coat and asks for an appraisal of how he looks. Buffy compliments him, and they share a hug before heading out into the hallway. Xander runs Buffy though a list of things she's supposed to do for him, the first of which is, "Don't let [Mr. Harris] near the bar." Oops, too late for that. Dawn joins them and just can't wait to tell Buffy that Spike has come to the wedding and brought a "total skank." I dunno -- Spike's date was a little surly, but I really didn't see anything too skanky about her. ["I know! In fact, she looked a lot like my hairdresser." -- Sep] I guess we're supposed to think this random girl is a skank because she has an eyebrow piercing and doesn't have shiny, shiny monk hair like Dawn. Whatever. Dawn continues to giggle about Spike's date, but Xander, obviously with more on his mind than Spike's social calendar, heads out to talk to the wedding guests. He takes some congratulations and handshakes, and everything seems fine until his mother comes over to complain that she's been seated in the third row, instead of the first. They were seated, and then they all got back up again to mingle? Is that normal? I don't know very much about weddings. Xander tries to assure his mother that it was a mistake, and then is suddenly set upon by a multitude of people who want his attention, including the overcoat guy. The camera spins around to show how overwhelmed Xander is, and then he gets dragged aside by Overcoat Guy, who insists, "You can't get married today. It's a huge mistake." Xander's confused by this, obviously, and has no idea who Overcoat Guy is. Overcoat Guy claims, "I'm Xander Harris. I'm you." Um, sure. I know people shrink as they get older and all, so that might explain how this guy could be shorter than Xander, but could it explain why he has a much pointier nose and possibly different colored eyes? (I'm not sure on the eyes, because my television is pretty small.)
Okay, so Overcoat Guy insists he's Xander Harris, from the future. Xander is naturally skeptical. They go back and forth on this topic for quite awhile, bogging the pace of this episode down even more. The bickering about who is or isn't a Xander is interrupted by Xander's dad drunkenly shouting, "Toast! Toast!" "I swear I told [the bartender] no drinks before the ceremony," exclaims the Xander of the present. The bartender should have slipped Mr. Harris some whiskey-colored Shirley Temples or something. As Mr. Harris drones on drunkenly in the background, making a scene, Overcoat Guy (I refuse to even pretend for one second that I ever actually bought his "I'm future Xander" story) shows Xander a pink crystal orb that he claims will prove his identity. As Overcoat Guy leads Xander out of the room, Mr. Harris calls the entire room's attention to his wife and then says, "What would I do without you, beautiful?" The room murmurs in appreciation until Mr. Harris continues, "Well, for starters, I probably wouldn't need to drink so much, would I?" Mrs. Harris looks like she wasn't expecting much better than that, and everybody just stands by as Mr. Harris continues to say nasty things about his wife. He then starts in on Anya's demon friends and is told by Clem's tentacle-y friend, "Sit down!" Mr. Harris and Squiddly (as Mr. Harris dubs him) are about to get into it when Buffy finally appears and drags Mr. Harris away. Mr. Harris leches on Buffy, who holds up well under the pressure.