Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | 1 USERS: C+
She's gonna die. Believe it.

Buffy sits in her office, keeping the stoic, reticent guy in the hoodie company. He (finally) says he's scared, and doesn't want to be left alone. His brother's signing up with the Marines. "What if he doesn't come back? What if he gets blown up? [Hoodie is] just all messed up right now." Buffy says it isn't messed up to be worried about his brother. Word. Hoodie Guy says he doesn't want to talk to his brother about it. Buffy just smiles tightly.

Buffy, now wearing a foofy peasant blouse, faces a bespectacled Weezer-esque nerd who says he thinks he may be gay. Buffy gushes that it's great he came to talk to her about this, and that there's nothing shameful in being gay. Rivers says well, he isn't sure, but if Buffy would go on a date with him, it would help him find out. He grins hugely. Next!

Buffy recites, "So, your sister is controlling, and doesn't let you make your own decisions." Wow, I wonder where this is going. We see the person sitting in the chair opposite: Dawn. Dawn agrees testily, and says her sister also borrows her clothes without asking. Oh, the horror. Buffy says flatly that she understands, and that "that must be hard." She does not pull out a tiny violin, or say, "Hey, at least you were spared the horror of seeing your mom lying dead on the living room couch, you ungrateful little squirt."

Finally, Azura Skye. Buffy notes that she hasn't been completing her homework assignments. Azura says inarticulately, "It all seems just kind of...whatever." Yeah. Buffy says high school is frustrating, but if you just get through it, you can go to college or join the French Foreign Legion. Azura says she's not going to do that. Buffy carries the non-joke further, saying it would be a pain to change your name and get stationed in Algeria and things of that nature. No, Azura didn't mean that. She didn't mean that at all. What she meant was, she wasn't going to graduate from high school. And hey, that's a great shirt Buffy has on (we're back to the plain white tank top and string of pearls). Buffy is all, don't change the subject. What won't you graduate? Azura drops the bomb: Because next Friday, she's going to die. Kaboom.

Buffy's face is incredulous. "What?" She said she's going to die. She doesn't mean she's going to commit suicide; no one is going to hurt her, and she doesn't think it, she just knows it. "Some things [she] just know[s]." She apologizes for wasting Buffy's time. She knows there will be coins, lots of coins, and that Buffy will go someplace dark underground, and that Buffy will try to help. Azura stands up to leave and says Buffy should really put a sweater on so her nice shirt doesn't get stained. Then she's outta there.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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