Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 7 USERS: A-
Look at me. I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree.

Joyce, chez Summers, hears a noise on the porch. She opens the door, and sees Buffy's red coat covering a figure. She asks, "Buffy?" and steps forward. The figure rolls over, and it's Norman. He smiles, "Mother," as Joyce backs up in fright. God, just shove her in the shower and stab her already. And, bad direction -- she could back right into the house and he wouldn't be able to follow! Commercials.

She's All That. Except not. But I'm glad that movies have gotten over the need to use "Kiss Me" on their soundtracks.

Buffy enters her house through the kitchen door. She slides the flowers from her father into the trash. As she walks further in, she sees that the front door is open. There's a Polaroid taped to the frame. It's of Norman holding Joyce by the neck. I think she's supposed to be scared, but it's could just be that he has really bad breath. Buffy flips over the picture, which simply says, "Come." Cut to her bedroom, where she packs a bag full of Slayer-y stuff, including a large vial of holy water. She's taken the time to put her hair up and change clothes. Yeah, I don't get it either. She walks out, having difficulty carrying the heavy bag.

Bates Motel basement. We see Joyce, gagged and bound to a chair, as we hear Norman's voice saying, "Mother? May I call you 'Mother'?" He snaps a few Polaroids and blathers about how horrible his mother was and how he killed and ate her. He says he plans to turn Buffy into a vampire, and to watch as she kills Joyce. He "wackily" admits that he has a problem with mothers. That makes me picture the following conversation:

Norman: Boy, I really hate mothers.
Joss Whedon: Fathers really suck.
Norman: It's mothers that really get me.
Joss: Nah, fathers are the worst.
Norman: I killed and ate my mother.
Joss: On my shows, I depict fathers as abandoning ogres every chance I get.
Norman: You should try eating your father.
Joss: I think I will.

Buffy enters the Bates Motel. This bugs me: Shouldn't she have Angel with her? He used to have a phone; if he doesn't still, that's just dumb. And even if he doesn't, maybe she could have spent the time she used to change and get a bag ready to, you know, run over to the mansion and get him? Anyway. She leaves a stake wedged in the doorway to keep the door open. I don't think that door locks, but okay. She wields a crossbow, and looks around. The music builds as she opens a door, but the other side is bricked up. A hand reaches for the stake in the front door, and pulls it away. It's Blair. Buffy hears the door close and looks wigged.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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