Buffy: Obviously it involves handing out entirely lame flyers.
Cordy: No, it involves being part of this school and having actual friends. Now, if it was [sic] about monsters, blood, and innards, then you'd be a shoo-in. I'd like to see you try to win the crown.
Buffy: You would? [Cordy sniffs.] Then you will.
Cordy: What does that mean?
Buffy: I'm gonna show you how it's done. I'm gonna run for Homecoming Queen and I'm going to win.
Cordy: This is starting to be sad.
Buffy: Sorry, Cordy, but you have no idea who you're messing with.
Cordy: What, the Slayer?
Buffy: I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened the prom queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.
The Bitch-O-Meter was at ten -- the domain of Bette Davis -- for that exchange.
Nice segue to Mr. Trick, giving a speech about the beauty of competition. His audience consists of Team Sprockets, an unidentified hunter-type human, Lyle Gorch (from "Bad Eggs") and a white-trash female vampire whom we soon learn are married to each other, and a yellow-skinned demon who, as Mr. Trick describes it, has "spiny-lookin' head things. I ain't never seen that before." Me neither. Mr. Pitt rolls in, and Mr. Trick sucks on a lollipop, which cracks me up. He tells them that he knows, ostensibly through the surveillance efforts of Team Sprockets, that their targets, Buffy and Faith, will be together the next night for the hunt. He welcomes them all to "SlayerFest '98." Commercials.
Meet Joe Black. You know, I enjoy a shirtless Brad Pitt as much as the next person, but I don't think it was worth three hours of that drivel.
Willow and Xander, at her house. He's donning his cousin's tux, and she's trying on different outfits behind one of those Japanese screens. Her first selection is a dark red blouse and a white skirt. She looks good. Xander: "Nice." Lisa Loeb's "How" is playing throughout this scene. You know, when I think of Lisa Loeb, the word that comes to mind is not "how," but "why," as in "Why the hell did she have to subject us to the video for 'Stay' where she's skipping around that loft?" Sorry, but if I have to revisit that image, then so do you. And not a word out of you, Bitch-O-Meter. All that being said, the song really works for the scene. Willow's second choice is a brown ensemble that manages to be both nondescript and ugly. Xander: "Nice." She sees he's having trouble with his bow tie, and ties it for him as they wax nostalgic about their eighth grade cotillion. They ask each other how far they've been with their respective significant others, but neither one tells. As Xander finishes buttoning his vest and putting on his jacket, Willow emerges wearing a full-length black dress. She trails off when she sees him, and he draws a sharp breath when he sees her. He looks stunning, and I'm not normally a fan. Same goes for her. She asks what he thinks, then says, "I know. Nice." He corrects her that she looks gorgeous. The sexual tension starts to build. Willow worries about her dancing ability, which is Xander's cue to take her hands, ballroom-style. It's now a foregone conclusion that they'll kiss, and they do, slowly and passionately. They then pull away and start a spazfest, agreeing that the kiss was a "clothes fluke," and spaz some more before almost kissing again. Xander says they have to get out of the clothes. Realizing the innuendo, they spaz yet again and run away from each other to change.