Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Homecoming

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 8 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
BitchFest '98

Buffy is giving a speech wherein she says that the competition will be "won or lost in the trenches." We see that she's standing in front of a large magic-marker board on which she's detailed the strengths and weaknesses of the other three candidates. Yeah, you're taking school a lot more seriously, Buffy. And if you detail your own weaknesses, you might start with your hideous skirt. I giggle as I see some of the weaknesses on the board: "wears polyester," "dandruff," "too much make-up." Good thing this aired in SMG's pre-makeup-commercial era. Buffy asks Willow to make a database for her to facilitate her campaigning strategy. She starts to give assignments to Oz and Xander when Cordy walks in. Buffy says that since they're all going to the dance together, they should try to get along. Cordy agrees, and asks Willow how the database is coming. Oh, Bitch-O-Meter, I sense some work for you. Cordy calls Xander, Willow, and Oz to her side, and they meekly obey. Cordy: "Thanks for what you said, Buffy. I think we're getting along great. Don't you?" What's this? Turns out this Bitch-O-Meter goes to eleven! Yes, the fact that Cordy not only hit Buffy when she was down, but used her olive branch to do it, sends us into new territory. We've reached the domain of Simon Cowell. The group follows Cordy out. Giles emerges from hiding. Buffy says she's okay, but she "accidentally" crushes a glass bottle in her hand to let us know she's pissed off.

Montage of scenes, which we don't hear over Fastball's "Fire Escape." Buffy and Cordy glare at each other and campaign. The SlayerFest participants prepare themselves. Buffy places one of her posters over one of Cordy's. Hee.

Buffy comes down the stairs, and drops a folder at someone's feet. He picks it up, and we see that it's Scott. He brings up the Homecoming race. She says it's silly, but he doesn't think so. I can see why Scott would take becoming a queen seriously. He tells her he'll vote for her, and she's grateful. After he leaves, she opens a notebook filled with names, and checks his off. Then she "accidentally" drops the folder again. Heh.

The same song, which never stopped, kicks up again as the montage resumes. Buffy in a letterman's outfit, talking to lettermen. She checks off names. She gives people cupcakes. She's shown up by Cordelia. Man, this montage makes you realize what a job of work recapping dialogue is.

Buffy comes up to Willow. Willow's twitchier than Twitchy as she way too loudly asks Buffy how she is. Buffy tells her that it's okay that she's helping Cordelia. Willow disagrees, but says that there are "dark, incomprehensible forces at work." Buffy, in an overly sincere voice: "And I'm sure that they're more important than all we've been through together, or the number of times that I've saved your life." Willow knows she doesn't have a chance, and accedes to Buffy's request to have fifteen minutes alone on Willow's computer with Cordy's database. As Buffy switches gears and details the order in which the limo will pick them all up the following evening, we see that Team Sprockets is watching and listening.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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