Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Homecoming

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 8 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
BitchFest '98

Buffy tries to get Jonathan's vote, but he tells her that Cordelia gave him money. Buffy accosts Cordelia for Confrontation Number Two. I can't possibly be any bitchier than the actual conversation (and you can just stop snickering, Sars ["hee" -- Sars]) so here it is:

Buffy: So you really are giving out money, huh?
Cordy: Is that any more tacky than your faux "I'm shy, but deep" campaign posters?
Buffy, with a "duh" look: Yes.
Cordy: This whole trying to be like me, really isn't funny anymore.
Buffy: I was never trying to be like you, and when was it funny?
Cordy: I don't see why your pathetic need to recapture your glory days gives you the right to splinter my vote.
Buffy: How can you think it's okay to talk to people like this? I mean, do you have parents?
Cordy: Yeah, two of them, unlike some people.
Buffy: Your brain isn't even connected to your mouth, is it?
Cordy, as she puts a hand on Buffy's shoulder: Why don't you do us both a favor and stay out of my way?
Buffy, grabbing Cordy's hand: Don't ever do that again.
Cordy, pulling her hand away: You're sick, you know that?
Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll regret later, okay?
Cordy: You crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!

I'm terribly sad to report that my Bitch-O-Meter just exploded. First Randy, Paula, and Simon almost got in a slap fight on American Idol, and now this. It was just too much. Rest in peace, Bitch-O-Meter. I will miss you. Xander drags Cordy away.

Shack: Dude, what's with all the American Idol references? You don't honestly like that show, do you?
Couch Baron: Uh, I don't even watch it! I just get them from your recaps!
Shack: You totally just said you do. At least I get paid to watch it. You're kind of pathetic.
Couch Baron: Well, it's a guilty pleasure, right? There's nothing wrong with that...right?
Shack: Shut up.
Couch Baron: I need help.
Shack: Don't look at me.

Cut to Xander and Willow, in her room again. They're lamenting what happened that afternoon. Willow feels like they overcompensated for the kiss by helping Cordelia, which led to the disaster that afternoon. They panic a bit, but then affectionately hold hands, making it clear that the kiss was no fluke.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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