Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Only Have Eyes For You

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 8 USERS: B+
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I Only Have Eyes For You

Establishing exterior shot of Sunnydale High. A guy walks by who seems to have been given Xander's skateboard and wallet chain from season one. Guess those were just languishing in the dusty depths of the costume department. Principal Snyder enters his office and closes the door. He snaps, "What would Sunnydale High do without you around to incite mayhem, chaos, and disorder?" but Buffy insists that she actually prevented the guy from killing his girlfriend. Squinting his already squinty little eyes, Snyder tells her he thinks the witnesses were "coerced," and that he's working on looking at the whole situation until he "knows exactly how this is all your fault." Snyder then exits to deal with "pathetic little no-life vegan" Billy Crandall, who has chained himself to the snack machine, but not before telling Buffy to stay put and that she "stink[s] of lies." Hee. A Sunnydale yearbook dated 1955 slides from the bookshelf behind Buffy and plops to the floor. She merely shrugs and returns it to its place, because Buffy has no interest in books -- even the kind that are mostly pictures.

In computer class, Willow dismisses the class with a little joke about "two-digit, multi-stacked conversions" and then rushes up to Giles, proud of having made her class laugh. Mopey Giles manages to stutter out a little praise and says he came to offer Willow assistance, which he graciously observes she doesn't seem to need. Willow says that Jenny Calendar left good lesson plans on her computer, and I must say, Willow is even more of a computer whiz than we ever knew if she managed to salvage anything from a hard drive that Angel burned up in "Passion." Willow mentions that she found some of Jenny's files about "paganism and magic and stuff," which I think was the start of Willow's whole Wicca thing (and the de-emphasizing of her character's intelligence and computer skills, which were the best things about her), and then shyly tells Giles that she thinks Jenny would want him to have a rose quartz she found in a drawer. Giles slowly takes the stone and, a little choked up, tells Willow that it was "very thoughtful" of her. He leaves, and Willow looks appropriately thoughtful for a moment and then turns back to her desk.

Buffy looks sleepy and bored in her history class as the instructor lectures about the New Deal. She closes her eyes and is transported to a pastel, washed-out dream land. In the pastel dream land, the girls wear circle skirts with chiffon scarves in their hair, and the instructor is now a woman. A few girls discuss the Sadie Hawkins dance, looking at a flyer that reads 1955, and then Buffy is left alone at her desk as a tall youth in a letterman's jacket approaches the teacher. It's that cutie Harrison from Popular in his great WB stepping stone to the stars. Here's the desired career path for pulchritudinous kids looking to make it on TV in Hollywood: four episodes of Undressed or one of those live-action Saturday morning shows, then a one-shot on an established WB show and voila, a lead role on a new WB drama. Because the WB always needs fresh young meat. James/Harrison and the teacher discuss a book she lent him, and as Harrison reaches out to touch the teacher's hand, Buffy and the viewing audience get the message that Harry-boy is hot for teacher. It looks like an illicit clinch is about to happen, but someone opens the door to the dream classroom, and Buffy opens her eyes in the present day. Her teacher is still lecturing and writing notes on the chalkboard, and Buffy's eyes open wide. The teacher has unintentionally written "Don't walk away from me, bitch!" in large letters, and the students start giggling. Buffy looks around, nonplused.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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