Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Robot, You Jane

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 7 USERS: C-
So what's this "internet" of which you speak?

Some semi-cute guy is talking to his laptop. Again, no expletives, but this is network TV. "Nazi Germany was a model of a well-ordered society? I didn't write that! Who's been in my files?" Jean-Marie Le Pen? Jesse Helms? There are numerous possibilities. Dreamy Willow skips down the stairs. She's so blissful, I expect her to belt out, "The hills are alive, with the sound of Malcolm!" And then the hills would hide, because they'd be very, very scared. Xander sneaks up and claps a hand over Willow's eyes, but she knows it's him. He invites her to the Bronze, but she declines. He figures it's because of Malcolm, which she eagerly acknowledges. Xander: "You're gonna be missing out. I'm planning to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me." I'd bring the phone book -- it'll be a big time-saver. Willow brightly tells him to have fun, and shoves off. Aw, poor Xander -- the girl with the heart of gold that you've been ignoring found a boy who'll talk to her. It's so teen-movie. Except for where the new boy's a demon. Although I'm certain that's been done. Buffy appears, and Xander blathers a bit, and Buffy points out that he's jealous. He denies it, and echoes some of the concerns about Malcolm that Buffy voiced earlier. He points out that on the internet, Malcolm could say he's anyone, and no one would know. Again, I've heard some stories. Buffy's starting to get wigged, but snaps out of it and says they're overreacting.

Virgin Boy. He keeps repeating, "I'm jacked in." I never got that entranced, and I once played Diablo II for eighteen straight hours. I have a feeling I just labeled myself a rank amateur. The camera pans down to show that Fritz has carved an "M" in his forearm. Man, just go for the neck-snapping -- it's so much quicker. Also, shut up.

Girls' locker room. Buffy has just changed. Willow bursts in. Buffy says hi to "late girl." Willow says she overslept. Buffy: "Until fifth period?" Willow doesn't answer. Buffy asks if she was talking to Malcolm the night before. Willow grins at the memory, but stops upon seeing the questioning look on Buffy's face. Willow: "You're having an expression." Buffy: "I'm not. But if I was, it'd be saying this just isn't like you." Willow: "Not like me to have a boyfriend?" Buffy: "He's boyfriendly?" Willow wonders what Buffy's problem is, but Buffy says all she wants is for Willow to meet him face-to-face. Be careful what you wish for, dearie. Willow: "Malcolm and I really care about each other. Big deal if I blow off a couple classes." Buffy: "I thought you said you overslept." Face! Willow: "Malcolm said you wouldn't understand." Buffy, in a hard tone: "Malcolm was right." She leaves. Both actresses hit the tone of that scene just right.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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