When we recappers submit our recaps to either Wing or Sars, we have to include certain information, such as the episode title and airdate. So the other night I settled in to start my recap and was talking out loud, "Um, season number five, episode number fifteen, airdate?" Ash, sitting next to me perks up and asks, "Hairdate?" "Um, no, AIRdate." "Oh," he snerks, "I thought it was some sort of timeline of Buffy's hair. Y'know, like you're doing a Star Trek Star Date rip-off." To my disgusted look, he graciously replied, "You can use that. For free." And so I have.

Longest. Previouslys. Ever. I'm boycotting them because of excessive Riley footage.

In the training room of Der Zauber Kasten, Buffy is punching what appears to be a bag rather viciously and complaining to Giles about how "gross" she feels about Spike's crush on her. I notice that now we see SMG throw the punches, but they cut away and substitute the stunt person actually landing the punches. I guess they must have finally realized how pathetic SMG's weenie little punches looked. Buffy worries that there was something about her that attracted Spike's obsession, and this spurs her on to a particularly rough set of punches, culminating in a groin kick. Giles suggests that she calm down, and Xander groans, "Me too," as the camera pulls back to reveal that what appeared to be a bag was actually Xander in a enormous fat suit. Buffy worries about "puffy Xander," but he assures her that he's alive and that he knows that "because of the pain." Buffy helps lean him against the wall and, now that she's sure Xander isn't going to die, continues her pity party. She contemplates changing her personality so that she won't chase away her next boyfriend, but Xander counters with, "Or maybe you can just be Buffy. He'll see your amazing heart and he'll fall in love with you." Buffy gets all melty at this and folds her arms around Xander's fat suit. Y'know, the writers like to tease us with the occasional Buffy/Xander bone. And no, I didn't mean it like that. The last scene I recall was from "The Freshman." However, that scene was immeasurably more enjoyable because we didn't have the Fisher-Price piano stylings of the new composer going on in the background.

On the main street, a sleek Chevy pulls up to the curb, and a supple brunette in a flowery dress exits. She thanks the guy she hitched a ride with, who tries to talk her out of going to Sunnydale. He asks what she's looking for and she chirpily replies, "True love."