Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Was Made To Love You

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Luring disco dollies to a life of vice

Spike is at the Buffy shrine. He's grabbing scattered pictures off her off the floor and tossing them violently into a box. He then flings the Buffyquin's wig in the box, snarling, "Bloody right, I'll move on."

Warren and Buffy enter the park. Warren is shouting for April and explains that she'll have to answer if her batteries are still running. "She's voice-activated?" disbelieves Buffy, and Warren just digs himself in further by explaining that April will suffer "feedback" if she hears him calling and doesn't answer. "If you call her and she doesn't answer, it hurts her?" demands Buffy. "You're one creepy little dweeb, Warren." Sing it, sister. Suddenly Creepy Dweeb and Buffy spot April, who is holding Katrina by the neck, suspended above the ground. April worries, "I couldn't find you and this girl kept lying to me and then she went to sleep." Oh, hey, she used a contraction! Buffy blinks in concern.

Aprés commercial, we're still in the park with Buffy, Warren, Katrina, and the perky sexbot. April perks that Warren shouldn't be angry because she's trying "very hard" to make him happy. Buffy asks her to put Katrina down, and April looks to Warren for direction. April releases Katrina into Warren and Buffy's arms, wondering, "Is she broken?" Buffy lays Katrina on a park bench and checks her pulse; she then tells Warren that Katrina is alive. April asks Warren why he left her; she wonders if they're playing a game or if she did something wrong. "I made you five sweaters," she chippers, and Warren tries to dweeb his way out of the situation by encouraging her to go back and get the sweaters and wait for him there. Buffy tells him to tell April and "do it right." As Warren tries to explain to April that he made a mistake, we see him through her eyes, Terminator-style. She's viewing him through a blue screen, with command menus along the sides. Somewhat belying his claim to Buffy that April wasn't just a toy is the fact that there her menus contain one "listen sympathetic," "praise" and "neck rub" each, two "kissing" subroutines, three for "fetish," four for "sex," and at least six that read "position.gfd." There's also one that seems to read "guy from personals" but my crappy cable connection makes it really hard to decipher.

Warren says he made a mistake -- he thought April was everything he really wanted, but it turned out he didn't want it, and it's over between them. April can't quite process this information and says she'll be whatever he wants, do whatever he wants, because she loves him. Warren tells her he realizes she loves him, but that he cannot love April. "I love her!" he exclaims, pointing, and we see Buffy looking surprised in April's robot-o-vision. An alarm is pinging, and large red letters read "Combat Mode Enabled." April also has a short menu with selections such as "street fight," "kung fu," and "take a bullet." Her readout identifies Buffy as "potentially hostile," and she growls at Buffy. "You made her so she growls?!" demands Buffy. And then of course she and April fight. Fight, fight, fight, as Sep would say. During the fight, Buffy slams down a see-saw section near Katrina, which causes her to suddenly awaken, holding her throat. As Buffy and April continue to duke it out, Katrina again gets to wear the Captain Obvious hat as she exclaims, "That's a robot!" "She wasn't just for sex," lames Warren. Displaying an thoroughly appropriate and commendable reaction, Katrina then yells, "Get the hell away from me!" and takes off running. Warren runs after her. Buffy and April fight. April is doing a good job of fighting in sand despite being shod in clunky, strappy sandals. She gets Buffy by the neck and lifts her off the ground, saying that she'll kill her for taking her man. However, her batteries must finally be running low, because she can't crush Buffy's neck. "What's happening to me?" pleads April, as we hear a little whining powering-down-type noise on the soundtrack.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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