Back at the Sacred Space of Slayerly Navel-Gazing, we're in full vision-quest mode. The form of the First Slayer from "Restless" appears behind the fire and tells Buffy that she's her spirit guide. This reminds me how much more I enjoy vision-quest storylines when they involve chili-eating contests and Homer Simpson. Buffy asks if she is losing the ability to love, but the spirit guide tells her that she's all about love, which is pain, and that's what Slayers forge strength from; Buffy should lose herself in love and then she'll get lots of prezzies. Or something. Look, I'm paraphrasing, and when you think about it, it's pretty crappy advice anyway, so let's move on.
Buffybot emerges from the tunnel below the crypt and looks around for Spike. As she leaves the crypt, we see Xander-legs lying unconscious behind a bier.
Rapid knocking on the door. Willow answers, assuming it's Xander, but it's the Buffybot, who tells her that Spike is missing. Willow hurries her inside and ushers her out on the balcony where they can talk without waking anyone up. Willow worriedly asks "Buffy" about Xander while we get another Buffybot POV which gives us all the pertinent info about Willow, including "Best friend" and "Gay (1999-Present)." Heh. We also are treated to a view of the "Make Spike Happy" folder, which consists of two kissing and five position routines. Oh, please. You're going to go to all this trouble to build such a lifelike sex toy and then only teach it two ways to kiss and five positions? It's due to that kind of shoddy craftsmanship that the Japanese sexbots are dominating the market. "Buy American," indeed. By the way, "Japanese Sexbots" is so the title of my next album. And the domain name is still free. ["Really?! Because I have a great idea for -- uh, never mind." -- Ace] Buffybot tells Willow that she hasn't seen Xander and quickly turns the conversation back to the search for Spike. This prompts Willow to ask if it's true that "Buffy" slept with Spike, but the 'bot earnestly replies, "No." Willow looks relieved until "Buffy" cheerily admits, "I had sex with Spike!" Willow looks stricken. "I'm sorry if that bothers you," continues "Buffy." "You're my best friend." Willow assures her that she is, and then tries to rationalize "Buffy's" behavior by saying that everyone was treating her so gingerly because of Joyce's death that Spike probably made her feel strong, and she "just this one time did something crazy." "Buffy" tells her that it was, in fact, "lots of times. And lots of different ways." Willow, repulsed, tries to talk to "Buffy" about why it's so wrong, and reminds her that, even though she was with Angel, it was different because he had a soul. "Angel is lame," chirps Buffybot. "His hair goes straight up and he's bloody stupid." Snerk. Willow tries again, but doesn't get much further before they're interrupted by Xander, who has come home and is busily rousing the gang to tell them the news.













Comments