Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 6 USERS: B+
Domo arigato, Buffy Roboto

Back from commercial to Glory. Sigh. Her Ineffectiveness lounges on a sofa, bitching about losing control of Ben while Not-Dreg and the most drippy minion yet, One-Million-Light-Years-From-Dreg, try to reassure her of -- something. This crap is filler and we all know it, right? Glory runs her bitchy trap about being "screwed" and bemoans her status as an exiled god. Not-Dreg says the minions will lay down their lives to help (not exactly a newsflash for anyone in the viewing audience), and Glory decides on a course of action. She tells the minions to watch the Slayer and report back about everyone in her life.

Buffy and Giles drive his red convertible through the desert. Looks like Joshua Tree National Park or thereabouts. They both appear to be wearing attractive brown suede coats, and I sigh with envy. Giles opens the trunk to get out supplies; Buffy wonders if he has "food, water, maybe a compass," but he informs her that he actually only brought "a book, a gourd, and a bunch of twigs." Humph. Not desert hiking gear at all! One would think that whatever training Watchers go through would at least bring them up to the level of your average Boy Scout, but apparently not. As they walk away from the car, Giles explains that he has to "perform a ritual to transfer" his guardianship of Buffy to a guide. The guide will then lead her to the Sacred Space of Slayerly Navel-Gazing. During the following scene, I get a little distracted trying to figure out if Sarah Michelle has grown a third pointy breast right above her sternum. I eventually decide it must actually be her mic showing through her sweater, and then I have to rewind the scene to actually transcribe the action. They share a little banter, and then Giles explains the ritual: "I uh, jump out of the circle, and then I jump back in it and then, I shake my gourd." Buffy teases him about the hokey-pokey and stays to watch as Giles, with much eye-rolling, does his jumping and gourd-shaking. "And that's what it's all about," she intones.

Spike and the Buffybot in his crypt. They circle each other, and Spike taunts the 'bot about searching for a weak spot in his defenses. The 'bot then rushes him, stake upheld, but is easily caught and encircled in his arms. He asks if that's the best she can do, and she sincerely (and vapidly) replies, "No. I -- I want to hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body." SMG really is doing a great imitation of the actress who played April playing a robot in "I Was Made To Love You." Either that or she is that vapid. Your call. Spike: Should I let you go? 'Bot: Oh no! And so on. "You're very, very bad," bubbles the 'bot, and then suddenly tosses Spike onto the tomb in his crypt, which has been made up like a bed. She leaps on top of him and holds the point of her stake against his chest. Spike is obviously aroused and leers, "You gonna do it that way?" His leering turns to panting as the Buffybot responds by tearing his shirt open and pressing the stake against his heart. But apparently she's "helpless against" him, so she lays the stake down. He then rolls her off onto the floor and lands on top, kissing her and breathing, "Buffy." Spike then moves down the 'bot's body off-screen, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Sigh. One of the many, many problems I have with this episode is that the 'bot is decidedly not Buffy, and since Spike seems so satisfied with her, it just proves to me that whatever it is that he's attracted to certainly isn't the essence of Buffy.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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