Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Into The Woods

Episode Report Card
Sep: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Into The Woods

Riley catches sight of Buffy right before she turns tail and runs out of the Bordello of Blood. She bounds down the stairs, viciously pushing aside a vampire who stands in her path. Spike is hot on her heels. Outside, Buffy stops at the end of the stairs to gather herself. "I thought you should know," explains Spike. Buffy shoots him such a pained look before running off in the alley that it melts his cold black heart, and he feels whatever the vampire equivalent of compassion is. Back inside, Riley has put his shirt on and is rushing downstairs after Buffy.

Back at home, Buffy enters her room and then leans against the door, looking shell-shocked.

Riley enters his abode, and when he flicks on a light, we see the members of the INot!tiative standing behind him. The senior guy monotones that they need to talk with Riley, but Riley isn't really in the mood. Graham pressures him to at least listen, and the senior guy flatlines about the demons in Belize. Riley protests that he's a civilian, but the senior guy assures Riley that they're "not the Initiative." Well, duh! I called them the INot!tiative two whole pages ago. Graham mumbles something about them being Army, "just like [Riley]," and I seem to remember Riley telling Fuffy last season that he was a Marine. Whatever. I'm just relieved that I've figured out that seniority in this "army" is based on a lack of tonal variety. That explains how Graham was able to advance so quickly through the ranks of a branch of the military he wasn't even a member of six months ago. The INot!tiative guy needles Riley about his lack of purpose as a civilian, then tells him that they're shipping out at midnight tomorrow and the choice is his.

Magic Box. I'm so sick of my inability to come up with a catchy name for this set. Please excuse me while I retreat further into my German heritage (where no one expects you to be creative, merely precise) and call it simply Der Zauber Kasten. It's cool 'cause it's foreign. Trust me. Giles is fixing a banner reminding the customers of the upcoming holidays. Including Gurachnar's Ascension. HA! Is that a Canadian holiday? Giles dryly remarks that he is "no longer a victim of crass holiday commercialization, [he's] a purveyor of it." Anya unpacks some new stock and suggests a chickens' feet holiday promotion. Willow and Giles gently mock Anya's idea, which sets her off. "I've been very good for this store," she snarks. "If it wasn't for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a quarterly tax statement and wetting himself." Yawn. This scene is boring me. Anya is upset because she thinks everyone takes her for granted, Xander is upset at his girlfriend for harshing on the rest of the gang, and finally we're interrupted by Buffy. She wants the gang to research the Bordello of Blood. Anya and Giles are already familiar with the concept. Buffy climbs into the saddle of her moral high horse and gets upset that Giles knew about these houses of swill repute but never told her about them. She vows that she's going to shut them down, and strides purposefully to a weapons chest that is just sitting right there in the store. Good god! It's not even locked. I really wish the writers would remember that there tend to be actual customers with grubby little inquisitive hands in most stores. Giles suggests that Buffy forget about the Bordello of Blood and focus on Glory. "Vampires are vampires. And my job description is pretty clear," snots Buffy. Oh yeah? They must have firmed that up since the time you were DATING ONE. And don't even get me started on the thorny issue that is Spike. Xander suggests that they make a plan and maybe wait around for Captain Generica, but at the mention of Riley's name, Buffy coldly says, "Back me up or not. I'm going." The rest of the gang follows her already retreating figure, leaving Anya to mind the store.

The Bordello of Blood is completely empty in the light of day. Xander suggests, "I guess everybody jumped shipped once the word got out that the Slayer found their crib." And then, "I just want to apologize for the use of the word 'crib.'" Heh. Buffy is overly agitated about losing the vamps. Willow and Xander reassure her that she'll get them next time. In response, Buffy picks up the Coleman propane stove that someone left lit and flings it into the opposite wall where it sets the room ablaze. Eesh. Destruction of property? Very un-Buffy. The gang exchanges a look and then follows Buffy out. Is anyone going to call the fire department?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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