As The Longest Night Ever Recapped continues, Xander sits by a door when Angelus walks in holding some flowers. Xander blocks his path, but Angelus asks if he thinks he could stop him from getting into Buffy's room. They're seriously standing close enough to kiss. Back up a bit, manly men. Xander says that maybe he can't, and maybe the security guards, cops, and orderlies can't either, but he's willing to find out. Angelus leans even closer and breathes, "Buffy's white knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first." Improbably, Xander sells this comeback: "You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there." Angelus comes even closer with a move that I honestly thought was going to end in a lip-lock. Watch it again if you don't believe me. He menaces to tell Buffy he stopped by, and leaves with a smoldering look. Xander runs to the bathroom to relieve certain bodily functions he was suppressing during that conversation.
White-filtered flashback. A girl, presumably Celia, calls for help from under some cushions, saying there's been an avalanche. Buffy, wearing a blanket for a cape, comes running in, saying, "Powergirl to the rescue!" and I hope I can call on her next time I'm up to my neck in anvils. I think I may need her soon, considering I'm going to be recapping Hill's monologues. Mini-Buffy pulls the pillows off Celia, and they embrace. Aw. Cut back to the flashback hospital, as Mini-Buffy approaches the curtain, creepy music at full volume. She opens it, and enters to find Celia's sleeping form. Back to the present, as Buffy jolts awake. Her doctor wishes her good morning, and tells her the fever's gone down. Buffy, sounding much better, is all, "Great! Bye!" The doctor, while amazed at Buffy's recuperative powers, demurs, saying that they have to be sure the fever's completely gone. Buffy asks if she's got the same bug as the kids do. The doctor looks guiltier than JonBenet Ramsey's parents. Hey, you try making dead-kid jokes. Anyway, the appearance of the Scoobs lets the doctor off the hook. Xander gives Buffy balloons. Xander, you're supposed to give her something she wants. Willow gives Buffy her homework, and Buffy comments that chocolate would be a better gift, until Willow reveals that she did all Buffy's assignments. Buffy: "Chocolate means nothing to me." Hee. I wonder if I can get rid of a few recaps by contracting a high fever. Although, from what I've seen from Ace and AB Chao, recapping while on drugs leads to hilarity, so maybe I'll give that a try. It would certainly help with this recap. Codeine + dead kids = laughs aplenty. Or not. Returning from Tangentland, everyone peers over at Cordy, who, with a look of death at Xander, sniffs that she was "out of the loop" on gifts. Giles: "It's traditional among...people." Hee. Giles, chewing away, gives Buffy a bag of grapes. Mmm, grapes. And...never mind. Buffy starts to mention the events of the previous night, but the appearance of an orderly prompts her to propose a walk.