Wow, my recapping skills are a little rusty. What do I need here? TiVo -- check. Remote -- check. Laptop -- check. Ability to listen, watch, type, work the remote, sip Coke, and fend off an affectionate cat all at the same time? Still working on regaining those multi-tasking skills. And by the way, many thanks to Couch Baron and Sars for keeping you guys entertained this summer while I fulfilled my dream of being treated like crap by retail drones in three different countries.
Okay, roll tape. Or roll TiVo, to be accurate. I'm momentarily confused as to what station I'm watching, due to UPN's new red and white logo. Whatever could have made them decide to drop the bilious orange color scheme? James Marsters welcomes us to UPN, and text in the lower-left hand of the screen tells us we're enduring something called the "Tues. Premiere Bash." We've got the Goo Goo Dolls, the series premiere of Haunted, and "the first spanking new Buffy of the school year." I'd snark something about most of our TWoP audience not relating to the school calendar, but as it does apply to two out of three recappers, I'll keep my mouth shut. James crouches next to a gravestone that reads, "The Other Side of Tuesday UPN," and then he advises that we hang on to our "widgets." I would, James honey, but it interferes with my typing.
Okay, deep breath. First recap of the new year is always tough. I'm eased along, though, by hearing Giles say, "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Previouslys just aren't previouslys without Giles. Warren toasts Tara. She falls to the ground (which looks pretty funny in rewind). Willow flays Warren, and the effect still manages to be shocking. I think it's the way his flayed torso glistens. Pilgrim-top Anya tells Buffy that Willow's bent on destroying the world. Willow sobs in Xander's arms, and he says he loves her. I sniffle, but tell the cat, who looks at me funny, that she got dander in my eye. Buffy wants to live for Dawn, but we're pretending that never happened. Spike wants to be made what he was. Deep-Throaty Demon zaps him a soul.
Minarets at night. Swirly music. Caption reads, "Istanbul." The camera pans down over the cityscape and into an ancient-looking street. A young woman with long dark hair races towards the camera, looking over her shoulder as she runs. I thought for a second it was Willow, perhaps on the run from some nasty witch-hunters or a crowd of TWoPpers angry about "Wrecked," but a close-up of the girl's face proves that she's a stranger to us. Is she a new Slayer? I hope so! I'm sick of all the old ones. Uh oh, two figures in black cloaks chase the girl. Are those monks? Bad things happen on this show when monks get involved. The Istanbul street is a nice set; I wonder if they borrowed it from another show or if we'll see it again later this season. The girl runs, and if you're slo-moing through the scene, there's a nice close-up of her bouncing cleavage. ["I really like her shirt -- both the color and the tear-drop neckline with the little ribbon tie. Maybe the new wardrobe mistress this season knows her stuff." -- Ace] An old man peers out his door, but slams it shut as the girl runs by. She tries to escape by climbing a drain pipe, clambering quickly up to the roof. Ace: I'm not sure about that lamp. It's seems to say "Home Depot" rather than "Istanbul."
Sep: I wouldn't know. Everything I know about Istanbul I learned from They Might Be Giants. You're right that it doesn't look really exotic, though.
Ace: Oh, I'm not getting bogged down in the need for facts. I've never been to Istanbul. I think the most exotic place I've ever been is Morocco.
Sep: That's just because you've never been to Bristol.
Ace: Heh. No, but I've been to Manchester -- does that count? Morocco is the one place I've been where I thought, "I will never understand this country if I lived here for a thousand years." And that's including Japan.
Sep: Yeah! That's how I felt pounding the pavement of Fishponds high street. They do things with baked beans there I've never seen before and have nightmares about seeing again.
Ace: Uh. Maybe you want to finish the recap now?
Sep: Ace, if you continue to start your sentences with "uh" or "um," I'm going to have to ban you.