Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lessons

Episode Report Card
Sep: B- | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Golden rule days
Dawn directs her minions to arm themselves. Carlos finds a couple of bricks. Dawn isn't too impressed by this, but I can't see why. Getting hit in the head with a brick freakin' hurts. In fact, I'm surprised Shiny McWhiny doesn't know that from experience. ["I'd be happy to help her learn." -- Ace] However, it appears that Dawn actually has a better use for those bricks. She orders Kit to dump out the contents of her bag, and conceals the bricks inside. Clever girl. Kit wonders if the zombie things will come back. On cue, Zombie Girl says that they'll be there for them forever. "Why do you think we picked you?" she spits. "The ones no one will ever miss." Huh. So she's seen Season Six, then. Dawn rushes forward and beans Zombie Girl in the knee. Zombie Janitor whacks at Dawn while Kit stands there, arms folded, more in boredom than fear.

This time it's Xander's turn to burst into the bathroom. He too stops short of falling into the big gaping hole. He's pretty excited about it, sure that it means "contract-y goodness" for his crew. He makes his way to the sink to look for the talisman. I just have to say that the show's practice of adding a "-y" suffix to everything has completely ruined my ability to speak English properly. This summer, when Britboy accused me of being…let's just say "differently correct" about something, I snapped back with an indignant "I'm not errorful! I'm wisdomy!" Since then, it's been a running joke between us. To the point where I'm suspicious of any words ending in "-ful" or "-y." When writing a paper last week, I actually had to spend the better part of a minute puzzling out if "helpful" or "helpy" was correct. And although "helpful" is correct, I still think that "helpy" is funner. Certainly funner than realer words.

Basement. Dawn is on the floor, struggling to free herself from the grasp of the janitor zombie spirit thing, when Buffy arrives on the scene to start kicking some ass. Buffy tells Dawn that they need to keep the zombies "at bay." She whirls Dawn's makeshift weapon, which was really a clever theory, but in execution looks exceedingly stupid. And this is television, so I think I'm correct in expecting that stuff to look cool. Buffy looks like an unbalanced, whirling, dairy-fat dervish. (Bad, bad outfit.)

Meanwhile, as Buffy gets down with her bad pat-of-butter self, Xander crawls along the floor of the bathroom in search of the talisman. He finds it under the sink. Right before he can destroy it, he's set upon by Zombie Girl, whose preferred mode of attack seems to be of the "gimmie a piggyback ride RIGHT NOW" variety. Xander struggles to crush the talisman, and as soon as he succeeds, the zombies disappear. Buffy leads the troops to find an exit.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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