Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 990 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
We'll Always Have Hemery

Willow, on the phone: "Just like that, he told you?" She's in a nightshirt and the cutest little moose slippers. Why did she have to grow up again? Oh, yeah, we'll discuss that theme at the end of the episode. Buffy says that he found out right before she got kicked out of Hemery. Willow asks if Buffy thinks that's "neat," and Buffy says yes, because she won't constantly have to worry about him finding out her dark secrets. In a lovely ironic transition, we fade to Ford walking down an alley. He knocks on a heavy metal door that looks like it goes into a warehouse or something. It opens for him. He walks by a guy doing some welding, which is another quick nice touch, and walks down some stairs into an area with a lot of kids wearing vaguely Goth outfits. I'm not going to take the time to describe the surroundings when Willow does it in two words later in the episode, so you'll just have to wait. Some doofus in a shiny cape and ruffled shirt greets Ford, asking him how it went. Ford isn't very forthcoming, causing Cape Drear to blather how he's going out on a limb or some such. Ford casually pops a prescription bottle, mentioning that it's Ritalin. He's a smooth operator, that Ford. He starts to chide, "Marvin," but Marvin corrects him that it's "Diego" now. No, it really isn't. The blonde girl known here as Chantarelle (and as Lily in "Anne" and Anne in "Blood Money") gives Ford a glass of something, and he downs a pill. He assures them that everything will be fine, and to be ready when he gives the word. He regards a television screen that's playing the 1973 TV version of Dracula, and says, "True believers only." Drearego whines some more, but Ford says soon they'll get to do the two things every teenager should: "Die young. And stay pretty." He is pretty, too. He lip-syncs along with Jack Palance: "You play your wits against mine. Me, who commanded armies hundreds of years before you were born." Okay, pretty and pretentious. But still pretty.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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