Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lies My Parents Told Me

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5 USERS: C+
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Lies My Parents Told Me

Back in the basement, Giles is questioning Spike further about his mum. "There has to be more than that," he asserts. "WELL THERE BLOODY WELL ISN'T," screams Spike at the top of his lungs. Of course. Which is why you're yelling your fool head off. At this, Buffy starts towards Spike to unchain him, but Giles pulls her aside. Buffy says that his plan didn't work. And I will never in my life understand why this justifies unchaining Spike and letting him wander around a house full of the last potential Slayers in the entire world just because Spikey-poo has had his feelings hurt. Giles insists that the plan isn't working because Spike is refusing to cooperate. Furthermore, he reminds Buffy, the trigger is still active, and therefore Spike is a danger to everyone. Even though she just witnessed that -- if Spike had not been chained, he would have gone feral on all their asses. How did his soul help him then, Buffy? You know the tendency of some shows to have the same character played by a different actor? That's kind of what's happened to this show lately, except they have the same actors playing different characters and they forgot to tell the audience. Spike rattles his chains petulantly, and then his attention is caught by his hand.

A black-lace clad hand grasps Spike's. Ooh! Anachronism alert. I'm pretty sure those Max Factor Diamond Hard red shiny nails weren't even a remote possibility back in those days. Anyway, we're stuck in another boring flashback. Spike and Dru waltz around the living room of his house. I'm not sure of how they managed to get in, but of my many problems with this episode, that ranks low on the list. Spike tells her "not to get too attached. We won't be here for long." "Well then," considers Dru, settling herself on the settee, "should we give it a proper good-bye?" Then she does this little poodle growl. It's really very disturbing. Spike settles down next to her and shoves his tongue down her throat. Spike growls that they'll "bring this world to its knees...lay waste to all of Europe. The three of is will teach those snobs and elitists..." "Three?" breaks in Dru. "You me and Mother," replies Spike matter-of-factly. "You wanna bring yer mum wif us?" worries Dru. Spike insists that Dru will "like" his mother. "To eat, you mean?" asks a still confuddled Dru. At this, they're interrupted by the appearance of said mother in frilly nightgown and dressing robe. She's been worried sick, as William has been missing for days. So if his mother didn't give him a proper burial, how was Spike able to empathize with Buffy about having crawled out of her own grave back in "After Life"? Crazy Drusilla dragged him off and buried him in someone's flowerbed, I guess. Spike outs himself as a vampire to his mum. She thinks that he's under the influence. He tries to sell her on all the pros of vampirism, but like all mums, she just doesn't get this crazy new fad that's all the rage with the kiddies. Spike embraces his mum, promising, "We'll be together forever." Spike gets into game face and pulls aside the collar of her dressing gown. "It only hurts for a moment," he whispers. Unless you're stuck in Spike's company, at which point the pain becomes eternal. But Spike's mum will get a taste of that soon enough.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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