Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Life Serial

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 5 USERS: B-
Life Serial

UCS. Buffy and Willow enter a classroom. They take their seats, and Willow points out the prof, one "Mike" who is busy writing "Social Construction of Reality" on the board. Mike gets right to it, asking who can define the concept. Every hand but Buffy's is raised. "And the flip side?" Hands again. Every answer is a jargon-filled mess, and Buffy is quickly out of her depth. Willow advises her to just get into the flow of things. Buffy looks distressed. Wow, that's probably the singularly most unbelievable classroom I've seen in all my days. College students? Doing the reading? Internalizing the main concepts? Having no fear of discussing them in front of their peers? Not busy talking about how totally wasted they were the night before? Riiiiiiiight.

After class Willow, Buffy, and Tara walk down the hall while Willow tries to console Buffy that she's just "rusty." Buffy protests that she needs some time to re-acclimate. Like when you bring a goldfish home, you can't just put it in the aquarium right away or you'll kill it. Buffy needs to ease back into school. Suddenly a fast-moving figure in a hooded gray sweatshirt and baseball cap passes Buffy. To the girls, it just looks like he's a rude jerk with poor spatial perception. But we see that he actually attaches some sort of miniature metal device to Buffy's cardigan. The figure rounds the corner and, big surprise, it's Warren. He speaks into the side of his collar, and Andrew and Jonathan pull him up on the monitors in the van. Which is parked right outside of the building Warren is in. This is one of those times that I'm supposed to just shut up and suspend my disbelief, isn't it? Warren orders them to "initiate sequence," and a small satellite dish protrudes from the top of the van and begins circling. All-black van with satellite dish on the top? No way that would attract any undue attention.

Tara tells Buffy that they've got about twenty minutes before art appreciation class, and reaches into her bag to hand Buffy the book so that Buffy can get a head start on appreciating some art. Buffy opens it and briefly glances at one of the prints. There's a noise like a bunch of bees buzzing, and Buffy looks up to find Tara in mid-prattle, obviously finishing up a very long story. Be glad you missed it, Buffy. I am. Buffy decides to get a drink of water to settle her nerves but, at the fountain, before her lips can even make contact with the water, there's the same strange buzzing noise and then Tara is calling from the other end of the hall that they're going to be late. Buffy: "What the fu…" Heh.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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