Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Life Serial

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 5 USERS: B-
Life Serial

By this time Warren has joined the dorkish duo in the van, making their trio complete so that they can form Voltron or something. In the building, Buffy runs after Tara but is locked out of the classroom. Time keeps speeding up. After what seems to Buffy only a moment, Tara is back from class. Buffy points to the clock to show Tara that time is jumping erratically forward, but by the time she looks back, Tara is nowhere to be found. Buffy must be invisible when this happens, because I can't imagine that Tara would just leave her there. Buffy rushes outside to look for Tara, and then all the students whiz blurrily by. She crawls her way across the grassy quad but is pummeled by students who don't seem to see her. She seeks refuge under a stone table and takes off her cardigan, quickly finding the small silver bug. She stares at it. Inside the van, the Legion of Dim freaks, and Warren quickly pushes the Big Red Button. This is of course a self-destruct button, and the tiny transmitter winks out of existence and everything returns to normal. Buffy slowly stands up to reveal that she has much bigger problems: a calico-patterned bustier which looks like Laura Ashley couture designed for Madonna now that she's a mom. Eesh.

In the van, Andrew and Jonathan quickly total Warren's points.

The next day, Xander and Buffy walk to work at the construction site. Buffy is excited about joining the workforce. Ah. Spoken like someone who has never been a part of the workforce. Buffy is very cute in her jeans, black tank top, tool belt, and hard hat. Xander reminds her that it's only a temp thing because Buffy's non-union. Thus, Xander had to call in some favors to get her a job in a closed shop system. Buffy thanks him from saving her from the horror of working retail. "I'd rather be dead. Again." Buffy is very wise. Buffy and Xander discuss her episode at school, and Buffy lets it drop that Giles implied that it was "stress-induced." Which makes no sense to me. When are these people going to realize that this is Sunnydale? When odd shit happens, there's usually some sort of evil behind it. Xander pisses me off further by downplaying Buffy's concerns. He advises her to keep such crazy talk to herself when she meets the boss. Shut up, Xander! Buffy isn't your autistic sock monkey of a girlfriend. She generally knows how to conduct herself in social situations. Xander introduces Buffy to Foreman Tony. Buffy extends her hand, but Tony doesn't shake it. Instead, he chews Xander out for bringing them "some little girl" to babysit when they're already so far behind. Buffy tries to break in, but he shoots her down with a "Not now, Gidget." Xander asks Tony (he's the boss!) to at least wait to see what Buffy can do, as she's "stronger than she looks." Tony turns away in disgust. Xander quickly takes off to go supervise his crew upstairs. The foreman assigns various tasks to the assembled anonymous construction workers, and one of the other workers tries to pawn off his job of hauling steel beams onto Buffy. Tony agrees, saying, "Okay, princess. You're on it. Try not break a nail." Buffy's expression at this is priceless. Hey, do you think it would be too much to ask that some of the budget for this show be earmarked for creating tertiary characters that are not complete amalgamations of stereotypes? I'm a little worried that the Legion of Dim and these construction guys might blow away in the next heavy gust of wind, considering that they seem to lack a third, or even second, dimension. Buffy makes her way to the pile of beams that she's supposed to haul around; the other guy assigned to the same task tells her not to sweat the comments, and warns her not to let the guys goad her into hurting herself. While he's talking, Buffy effortlessly lifts one of the steel beams that weigh many hundreds of pounds, and walks off. Did I miss the memo? When did it become no longer important for Buffy to maintain a secret identity?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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