Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Life Serial

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 5 USERS: B-
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Life Serial

Buffy. Hauling beams. Helping out. Making friends and vanquishing her enemies. Or something. But she's still managing to offend her coworkers, because she's working too hard. Y'see, they get paid by the hour, and Buffy's diligence is ruining it for everyone.

Cut to the van, parked conveniently outside of the construction site. Warren peers through a pair of binoculars at Buffy. Jonathan parts the beaded curtain to the back and grimly tells Andrew, who is sitting in a lotus position in the back reading a comic book, that it's his turn. Andrew grabs a set of wooden pipes and starts playing them. Oh, good job there, Kokopelli. I'm sure that New Age music is very much a fear of Buffy's.

Buffy leans over the water cooler to get a drink and…I almost fall out of my chair. What the hell is that noise? Oh. Strega left her Misdirection-Based Comedy Alarm here from when she was subbing. Which means that I'm not at all frightened when we see a pair of hands pick up some huge -- like novelty-sized -- pliers and head towards Buffy. It's just Tony the Boss, though. Buffy first starts, then gives him a look, and finally pushes him out of the way because numerous vaguely Greedo-looking demons have come a callin'. She fights them off, causing no small amount of damage to the framework of the building. As she's occupied with the first one, the remaining two corner a bunch of cowering construction workers. She quickly dispatches them with a masterful use of props. One is strangled by a bunch of shiny metal tubing and the other has his head smashed by a cherry picker. As each is killed, it dissipates into goo and then disappears.

From the van, Andrew is upset that Buffy dealt with them so quickly. I mean, duh. Did this guy just move here or something? Buffy has dealt with more threatening things in her sock drawer. Warren takes the binoculars, and then the two squabble over them, causing Andrew to fall across to the driver's side and honk the horn, which plays the Star Wars theme. I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of mail informing me that it's not actually the theme song, but rather the refrain from the third movement's coda or something. I'm telling all of you people right now to stow it. I could go look it up myself if I at all cared. Which I don't. In any case, this draws Buffy's attention to the van, but she's got bigger fish to fry. Like bottom-feeder Xander, for one, who immediately jumps to the conclusion that Buffy got a little testy at the lip the rest of the crew was giving her. The foreman says that Buffy went berserk. Xander chides her, but she pulls him aside to tell him about the demons. He is more worried about the client's reaction to rebuilding delays. Buffy whirls around and asks Vince to back her up, but she don't get no love from Vince, who says, "Must be that time of the month or somethin'," because Buffy was "losing it." Buffy stalks off. Xander follows her. He postulates that someone is "messing with" Buffy, based on the incidents at school yesterday and now this. Buffy: "Really? Think they're connected?" Uh. Buffy? I know that you were dead for a while, but you do remember things that occurred prior to your demise, right? Or did your brain not reanimate all the way? Except for an extended vacation in heaven, you've spent the past five years in Sunnydale. EVERYONE messes with you at some point. I'm beginning to think that's why keeping the Slayer's identity secret is such a good idea. So they don't have to deal with every Tom, Dick, and Harry demon hassling them. I'm oh so very tired of the amazing incidental lobotomies that each character seems to suffer whenever it's convenient to the story. I miss the old days, when the plots were complex enough to realistically confound both the viewers and the characters, without requiring that the characters suffer from enormous gaps in logic to help move the plot along.

Der Zauber Kasten. Buffy's fallen back on the offer of employment in retail. Giles walks by with a large stack of books to add to the even larger stacks of books on the table. Buffy asks if that's all "research or some kind of stress test for the table?" Anya approaches with a handbook of procedures and starts going over the return/shipping and hold policies. Whew! Hold onto your hats! This is getting exciting. I hope next week Buffy decides to try her hand at investment banking!

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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