Anyway, Buffy and the demon fall down the stairs. The demon scuttles away, as roaches are wont to do. Heh -- I'd like to see my cat, Frances, up against the Queller Feller. I think she could take it; she's a mighty huntress when it comes to roaches. And I appreciate her efforts, I really, really do. It's just that I wish she would stop hiding the dead bugs under the living room throw-rug when she's done with them. I blearily wander out in the morning and ugh! Crunched cockroach corpse. Upstairs, Joyce hugs Dawn and tries to comfort her. Buffy walks through the house into the kitchen and grabs a really big knife from the knife block. She's inspecting the kitchen when suddenly the basement door flies open and surprises her. But it's not the Queller Feller -- it's everyone's favorite wee laundry-stalking vampire, Spike. Buffy is disgusted and understandably wants to know what Spike is doing in her house. With an "umm" and an "err," Spike tries to explain that he in her basement looking for "junk." "You were stealing?" asks an incredulous Buffy, to which Spike bluffs, "Well, yeah." Hee. "Well, yeah, that's what we vampires do. We drain the blood of innocents, reign gloriously over the shadows of night, strike fear into the hearts of men and um, steal musty Barcaloungers from basements." Sounds like the life for me -- where do I sign up?
We see Spike tuck a few pictures into his coat pocket, and Buffy is about to ask what the hell he's up to when Spike is attacked by the Queller Feller. Oh man, are we going to see a Buffy-shrine in Spike's crypt soon? He already has a full supply of candles, and I'm sure those pictures will look smashing propped up against Buffy's chonies in a corner. Spike gives a girly scream and manages to kick the knife out of Buffy's hand. The midget in the rubber suit and skull cap, I mean the Queller Feller, jumps from Spike onto Buffy, and again SMG has to roll around on the floor with this poor little actor who's just trying to make a buck. Gawd, I'm blushing for everyone involved right now. Hey, Buffy? Why don't you throw an apple at it? My friend Franz told me that sometimes works. Spike tosses Buffy the knife, which she uses to repeatedly stab the Queller; after much squealing, it finally expires. Buffy rolls the demon off her and, in a blatantly framed scene, Spike reaches out his hand to help her up. Buffy takes it and stands just as Riley and the black ops troops burst into the house. Well, damn, seeing Buffy holding hands with Spike and finding out he was too late to help kill the demon won't help Riley's secret sucking problem one bit, will it? Buffy doesn't reply to his asking if she's okay and instead rushes upstairs to check on her mother and Dawn. Spike snarks to Riley that he "just missed a real nice time." Upstairs, Buffy assures Dawn and her mother, who are still huddled on the bed, that the demon is gone and that everything is fine. She hugs both of them to her breast.