Okay, this is going to be tough. Three years' perspective is often an advantage in recapping an episode. However, I'm in a quandary as to what to do about Spike. Considering how much I loved him in Season Two, it would be so easy to pretend I hadn't seen his character go from evil and entertaining to emasculated and annoying. But somehow, I just can't do it. The best I can do is to acknowledge how much he brought to the show back then, with some contrasts to how he is now thrown in. It's not easy being a recapper, you know. I just want to be loved -- is that so wrong?
Willow and Xander walk across the school lawn. Willow: "This is a nightmare." Xander assures her that it's not that bad. Willow: "740? Verbal? I'm pathetic. Illiterate. I'm Cletus the slackjawed yokel." Okay, you don't bitch about a 740. I mean, I'm sure she got 800 on the math, so 1540? Boo hoo. But I'll still give the Simpsons reference a "hee." Xander tries to put things in perspective: "And the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot." Willow wonders where she went wrong. I'd start with her outfit. Rust-colored pants and an orange and yellow top? Vomitous. Xander, sitting down on a bench next to her, tells her she did great, and puts his arm around her.
Oz and Cordy approach, and Xander jumps up. Xander reads Cordy's scores, and wonders what people will think when they find out he's "dating a brain." They'll probably be glad there's one in the relationship. Cordy: "Please. I have some experience in covering these things up." And a mighty fine job you've done of it, too. Oz to Willow: "I can see why you'd be upset." At Willow's nod, he says, "That was my sarcastic voice." Xander: "It sounds a lot like your regular voice." Oz: "I've been told that." Still so cute. Oz thinks they should celebrate. Cordy tries to mouth to Xander that she doesn't want to double date, but she's ignored. Buffy appears, looking nine kinds of wigged. Willow asks if she got her scores. Buffy says yes. Her outfit is hideous, too. Powder blue and electric blue together? Make it stop. And yet another silly little purse. You couldn't even fit a stake in that thing! Buffy gives Willow her score slip. Willow: "1430! Buffy, you kicked ass!" While I don't think Buffy's dumb at all, it's pretty hard to believe that she would score that high. It's worth it to see the chagrined look on Cordelia's face, though. The gang thinks that these scores could change Buffy's future. Buffy: "The thought had occurred to me." She explains that she feels weird, because she was never sure she'd even have a future. Cordy brightly says that it's great, because the scores enable Buffy to leave and never come back. The gang looks at her. She explains: "Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale -- that's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?"