"She won't feel a thing. Just do it," instructs BBBWarren to Andrew, who is holding a knife. I think they're conspiring to put me out of my misery. God, I hope that's it. "What if she squeals?" asks Andrew. I promise to be very, very quiet. Just make it fast, boys. I can't take much more of this! BBBWarren tells Andrew to go for her throat, and we finally see the intended victim: a pink piglet. I immediately find the piglet more charming and endearing than all other characters in this episode put together. How 'bout a season of Piglet the Vampire Oinker? She fights hyena-infested teens who want to make her a tasty snack, she defeats her nemesis, the evil demon Chitlins, and she slays vampires with a thrust of her trusty trotter. BBBWarren gives Andrew another pep talk that draws on a mélange of tropes found in popular fiction, and Andrew shouts, "That'll do, pig!" before launching himself after the piglet. I'm told that's very funny if you've seen Babe. I myself never vowed to see another live-action talking animals movie after The Adventures of Milo and Otis. Why mess with perfection? Andrew flings himself about the room, but can't catch the pig, which runs away. She has a cute, cocky little gallop. It's pretty sad that all the human actors on the show have just been upstaged by the thirty-second appearance of a walking rasher of bacon. Sigh. The two stooges need another source of blood.
Butcher shop. Oh, I so totally don't see where this is going. I don't have a thought in my mind that Willow and Andrew could end up at the same butcher shop. Nope, no suspicion at all. So I totally won't be distracted and impatient with this scene, tapping my foot and waiting for Willow to show up so we can just move the hell on already. Nope. In fact, I've always had a secret desire to see an "Andrew goes shopping for dinner" scene, so I found this riveting and dramatically profound. This whole paragraph is a lie. Except the first sentence. Let's try again.
Butcher shop. Andrew is there to get blood. I realize that Willow will show up soon, and since I have very little interest in watching Andrew do anything, especially shop for groceries, I tune out most of the scene waiting for the moment when the plot might actually lurch into motion and creak forward an inch or two. Halibut, toothbrush, Neo, steak sauce. That's my new mantra for yoga meditation. A-ha, it's time to run into Willow. Literally, of course, because ME never hesitates to be as obvious as possible. Willow glares.