Buffy the Vampire Slayer
No Place Like Home

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 3 USERS: A-
The Shady In Red

"We can't all be born with big fancy Chosen One reflexes, you know," grouses Dawn as she and Buffy go back home. Buffy finds Joyce contorted in pain on the couch and pushes for a doctor visit pronto, but Joyce insists that all she needs is her prescription filled. Buffy says that she'll go to the hospital pharmacy and be back in ten. First of all, ten minutes, Buffy? Again I must remind you that you do not live in Canada. Secondly, do you live right next door to the hospital? As I recall, Buffy doesn't drive, and normally the acquisition of a driver's license would rank right up there in boredom with the never-released episode entitled "Buffy applies for a passport and learns all about the rigmarole of government offices." The show has made such a big deal of Buffy and cars being "unmixy things" that I thought we would have been kept abreast of any DMV-related developments, but I guess not.

Buffy picks up her prescription and is walking out when she's spotted by Greasy Intern Ben from last week. He's transporting a man on a gurney, who Buffy recognizes as the security guard from earlier in the episode right before he rears up, frothing at the mouth and muttering. Greasy Intern Ben struggles with him briefly and calls out for some phenobarbital until Buffy effortlessly pins Crazy Security Guy back to the gurney with one hand. As they're strapping him down, Greasy Intern Ben says, "Not to be rampantly sexist in the work place but you've got some serious muskels [sic] for a girl." Um, Greasy Ben? You're an intern. That means you've been through medical school. Don't tell me they let you graduate ignorant of the proper pronunciation of "muscles." Before Buffy can reply, Greasy Intern Ben suggests that her strength comes from a "radioactive spider bite." But his attempts at flirting are cut short when the security guard grabs at Buffy's pills and starts raving, "Don't think you're above it, Missy. They come through your family!" Greasy Intern Ben shuttles him off to the exam room and makes some more small talk with a shaken Buffy. I don't care about Greasy Intern Ben, Joss can't make me, and why is he even getting screen time when Giles, Willow, and Xander go unloved anyway?

"God help me" says a brown-robed monk. He's sitting in the middle of the abandoned building we saw earlier, studying a map carefully. He stuffs it back into his pouch and gets up to leave when he's distracted by the steel door at the other end of room buckling inward. "The beast!" he says, and looks around for an escape. The door finally gives way, and a blonde in a red dress strolls in. "There you are," says the somewhat porcine-faced blonde. "I've been looking all over for you."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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