Buffy the Vampire Slayer
No Place Like Home

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 3 USERS: A-
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The Shady In Red

Over at the Magic Box, Giles can barely contain his excitement at his first sale until the customers are out of earshot. Willow, who for some reason is wearing a completely different top than she was earlier, congratulates him on being an "official capitalist running-dog." It's so sad that I will forever associate that phrase with the Rush song, "You Bet Your Life." Willow also mentions that she hasn't been able to uncover any helpful information about the orb as more customers file in. Anya, among the knot of people who just entered, tells Giles that he's charging too much for his conjuring powder. "I'm sorry. I'm almost out of money. I've never had to afford things before and it's making me bitter," she explains. Heh. It never gets easier. Even when you're used to it. But it does make one wonder what Anya needs conjuring powder for. Giles protests that the stuff is expensive, and she offers to put him in touch with the troll who sheds it. Buffy rushes in to tell Giles that she has an idea that Joyce's illness is supernatural in origin. She explains about the security guard who warned her that something would try to hurt her through her family. Buffy claims that whatever caused the security guard to go insane also made him able to see through illusions.

Pan up on the abandoned building. The Abimbonation has the monk tied up to a chair while she talks about how she doesn't even want to be on this "mortal coil." She then rants about how "hurt" she is by the monk's "selfish" behavior in withholding "the key." Sigh. Self-aware villains can be so tiresome, especially self-aware villains who spout self-help speak. I hate the Abimbonation and the light-Faith stylings of her 66.6 WAKO delivery. ["But she played Courtney in Bring It On, so she can stay." -- Sars] She suddenly remembers that the monk's mouth is duct-taped shut, and rips the tape off. She grows increasingly violent in her demands for key-related information, but when the monk stays firm, she seems to sag and give up. More wah wah wah woe is me, and have we finally found a bad guy to compete with Buffy's navel-gazing? The Abimbonation shuffles over to some random repairman or security guy who is chained up on the floor and pleading for his release. I know that Abimbonation is going to do something terrible to him, and I know we're supposed to be surprised because she's beautiful, but not me. I learned a long time ago that beautiful people are bad news. Next, there are a whole bunch of quick cuts of the Abimbonation making the seven faces of constipation and uttering all sorts of non-sequiturs. Thus, it is established that she's crazy. Suddenly, she grabs the repairman's head, and a white light emanates from him until he collapses on the floor, panting. The Abimbonation claims, "That is so much better," and walks off.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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