Buffy the Vampire Slayer
No Place Like Home

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 3 USERS: A-
The Shady In Red

Joyce comes home, looking wan, and calls for her daughters. Dawn startles her by popping out from the kitchen, carrying a cup of tea. Joyce explains that she came home because she was feeling "crappy," and Dawn holds out the cup of tea, all Stepford Sister-ing, "Want tea, Mom? I made it for you."

Buffy walks past the busted-down door and spots the tied-up monk guy, looking all battered and, well, dead-ish. She unties him, babbling about the Dagon sphere, and we see She Who Should Be Named "Stupid Wacky Chick" sneaking up behind her, all Elmer Fudd stalking Bugs Bunny. Buffy turns towards her, claiming "I'm not stupid," but the Abimbonation smacks her, and she flies all the way across the room and rips a big tear in the wall the set decorator worked so hard to make look like cement. Buffy stares in shock, and the Looney in Red mocks, "You sure about that last part?" Oh, stop stealing my lines, you hackneyed plot device.

At the magic store, the last customer leaves and Giles, Willow, and Xander grouse about their hard day of work. Better that they should grouse about being reduced to a sort of Greek chorus that sits around cooped up in the magic store set and only participates in tertiary plot lines, if you ask me. Over at the cash register, Anya organizes the days receipts and babbles about restocking. Giles attempts to interrupt her flow a few times, and finally manages to break in to offer her a job at the store. See, that was funny, because we thought he was trying to break in to tell her to shut up, but he was actually -- what's that you say? It's not funny? Oh, right. Onwards. Anya is actually cute for a second when she calls Giles "Boss" in a pleased way. On to Willow, who inquires about Buffy's trance/spell, and Giles explains that Buffy said it didn't work. Blah blah blah "Slaymaster General" blah blah blah hope she doesn't do anything too rash-cakes.

Cue Buffy being thrown into the "concrete" wall again. Aw man, that means more of Faith Lite. I know I was just complaining about the previous scene, but I'm ready to go back. Anything to not have to deal with Ms. Looney Tunes. As she continues to beat the crap outta Buffy, Claire -- or Heather, or Susan, or whatever the hell her name is -- enhances the torture by babbling crazy talk about ripping worms in half. It's as if you took all the sexiness, menace, and off-kilterness that made up Faith and then just threw out the sex and menace, cranked up the off-kilter, and added a dash of "wacky." When Buffy finally lands a good blow on her face, Sable -- or Kristin, or Muffy, or whatever her name is -- inappropriately snaps, "You hit me! What are you, crazy? You can't go around hitting people!" See, she's new to human form, and she seems to know all these talk-show and self-help phrases, as if she picked them up from the media but she doesn't know the proper time to apply them. And that's not at all like Anya a few seasons ago. Not one little bit, 'kay? So the big wacky blonde and the little plucky blonde fight, but Vampy Reddressnovitch seems to be winning. Her blows knock chunks out of columns, and when she figures out that Buffy has super-powers, she asks, "Can you fly?" and tosses her across the room without really waiting for an answer. Unnamed evil can be so rude. Buffy clambers back up for another round, but instead grabs the monk and leaps out the second-story window with him, cushioning his fall with her body. Hey, what happened to the maintenance or security guy who got his head zapped? The case of the disappearing extra! If he doesn't turn up in a future episodes, that will be the worst continuity error I've seen this season. Ms. Looney Tunes attempts to pursue the Slayer, but breaks a heel on her ridiculous stiletto-heeled shoe. She throws a temper tantrum, stomping her foot, which causes the floor to crack beneath her. The cracks radiate out, bringing down pillars, and the ceiling comes down as the Abimbonation mouths, "Oh shit!" Here's hoping, but not at all believing, that that's the last we see of her.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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