Opening shot of the exterior of Sunnydale High. Kids play as Cordelia, in voice-over, waxes poetic (hey, it's just an expression) about springtime. We see her walk down the hall flanked by Harmony and some dud (I meant to type "dude," but the typo works better) who's got his arm around her. That's actually significant, because the dud is played by Ryan Bittle, better known as Ambiguously Gay Eric on Dawson's Creek. Only, since he's pretty unambiguously into Cordelia, I think I'll have to refer to him as Firmly In The Closet Eric in this recap. They mention things they like about spring, one of which is the end-of-school dance, which segues into Cordy saying that she's having her dress specially made. "Off the rack gives me hives." Firmly In The Closet Eric tries to be endearing by rhyming that with, "Let me guess. Blue, like your eyes." I don't get the chance to groan too long, however, because Cordy snaps, "My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller." Harmony brownnoses that the two of them will look great in the May Queen photo. Cordy gives the obligatory "I haven't been elected yet" speech. I note, for not the first time, that Charisma Carpenter's skin was about 537 shades lighter in the first season than in the third or in any season of Angel. They reach the library doors, and Buffy, running out, bumps into FITC Eric, spilling assorted weapons all over. Cordy just snickers, and Harmony pulls one of her patented "Buffy is an escaped mental patient" faces. Buffy babbles, trying to explain that she borrowed the stuff from Giles for "show and tell" in history class. Why she cares what this group thinks is beyond me. Harmony: Disparaging comment. They walk off; Cordy starts to tell FITC Eric about the time Buffy "attacked" her in the Bronze, referring to the incident in "Welcome To The Hellmouth." Buffy looks sad.
Nice segue to a large black (can you believe it?) female teacher, reading Shylock's famous "If you prick us, do we not bleed?" speech from The Merchant Of Venice. She asks the class how it relates to their discussion of the outcast in society. Good combination of a tie-in to Buffy's feelings and foreshadowing of events to come in this episode. I guess the anvil budget was low in the first season. Cordy responds that Shylock was completely self-involved and a whiner, in such a way that illustrates that she's more self-involved than Madonna and Courtney Love put together. The teacher says that Cordelia has raised an interesting point. The bell rings, which is too bad, because we don't get to see how the teacher was going to spin it to make Cordy not look like a self-absorbed lunatic. The class leaves, but Cordy approaches the teacher, whose name is Ms. Miller, for some help on her term paper. She says, "I have all these thoughts, and I'm pretty sure they all contradict each other." Well, that would certainly explain some of your fashion decisions over the years. Mrs. Miller tells her to come by the next day after school for the plot contrivance, er, "help." Cordy happily walks out and sees Harmony, and tells her that her dress is ready. She says that FITC Eric "is gonna die." Groan.