Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Phases

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A-
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All About Oz

Aw, I've been looking forward to this one.

School. Oz sways back and forth in front of the cheerleader trophy last seen in "The Witch." Willow greets him, and he tells her that the cheerleader's eyes follow you. Hee. Who's a little cheerleader? Willow asks him if he liked the movie the night before. Aw, they went on a date! That's so cute! By the way, just be prepared for my snark to turn to treacle when it comes to these two. Oz opines that today's movies are kind of fluffy, which is somewhat amusing from a meta viewpoint. Oh, Oz's hair in this episode is dark red, in case you're wondering. Sorry, I'm all over the place here. Oz is making me a little giddy. Sigh. Willow and Oz tell each other they enjoyed the date, then stand there, Willow awkwardly and Oz placidly. Buffy's appearance rescues Willow from continuing to gape like a large-mouthed grouper, and they leave as Larry and two guys -- to whom I'll refer, for obvious reasons, as "Meat" and "Head" -- approach. Larry tells Oz he'd like to get some Buffy/Willow action. Oz: "That's great, Larry. You've really mastered the single entendre." Hee. Not knowing the definition of "entendre," and possibly a bit fuzzy on "single" as well, Larry shifts gears and knocks a book out of some girl's hand, then ogles her ass when she bends over to pick it up. Oz comes as close to rolling his eyes as he's capable of. In other words, his irises do actually move from their normal positions. Larry then quizzes Oz on why he's dating a junior, and speculates that Willow's innocence is just an act. Oz: "Yeah. She's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun." Hee. Why make my own jokes when I have Oz around? Larry fishes that Willow must be putting out. Meat and Head are really trying hard with the facial expressions in the background. Sorry, kids, but I don't think this episode is going to inspire any sort of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead-like tale. Keep slinging that hash in Hollywood, though -- you never know. Larry asks Oz, "How far have you gotten?" Oz looks at him like, "How can I get out of this diplomatically, considering that this guy could swallow me whole and still have room for dessert?"

We don't find out, as Willow answers Larry's question, "Nowhere!" She and Buffy walk through the quad. Buffy opines that it's nice that "he's not just being an animal." BOOM! That was Foreshadowing shooting himself out of a cannon and splattering all over my monitor. Good thing I leaned over to adjust the volume on my speakers. I just hope I'm not out of Windex. Willow complains that she wants "smoochies." Buffy asks if she's dropped hints. Willow: "I've dropped anvils." I know TWoP didn't yet exist when this episode originally aired, but I don't care. On behalf of everyone ever affiliated with the site, I am taking that as a shout-out. Buffy says he'll come around, asking what guy could resist her charms. Willow wrestles the rhetorical question to the ground with, "At last count, all of them. Maybe more." Cute, hon, but not as cute as your boyfriend, so easy on the whinging, okay? Buffy continues to reassure Willow, and since I didn't watch "Innocence" before this, I only now remembered just how good a friend she's being here. Willow says he'd better hurry. "I don't want to be the only girl in school without a real boyfriend!" Buffy looks down all, "Thanks, Willow. I was wondering what I was going to do with that shred of my heart I had left." Willow immediately realizes her error, what with her foot touching the back of her skull, and babbles her apologies. "Do you want me to go away?" Buffy: "I wish you wouldn't." Say it with me: Awwww. Willow asks how she's holding up, and Buffy bravely says she's doing okay, but that hanging out with her and Xander that night would help. Willow: "Great! I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah: 1-800-I'm dating a skanky ho!" Hee! And extra points for the use of the word "skanky." You know how some words are just funny? "Skanky" is one of them. Hee. "Skanky." Okay, enough regression for this page. Buffy meows, and Willow's pleased that her comment was bitchy enough to warrant it. She asks, "What does he see in her anyway?"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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