Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Phases

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
All About Oz

Cut the skanky (hee) ho and Xander making out in her car. He breaks the lip lock to asks what Willow could see in Oz. Dude, you're on a lot shakier ground than Willow was with her question. Cordy rightly snaps at him for even bringing up the subject. He rambles on that Oz is a senior, good-looking, and in a band, "and we know what kind of element that attracts." Cordy says she's dated lots of guys in bands. Xander: "Thank you." Hee. Cordy asks if he even wants to be there, pointing out that when he's not talking about Willow, he's talking about Buffy. He starts to babble some more, but she interrupts with, "Xander! Look around. We're in my daddy's car. It's just the two of us. There is a beautiful, big full moon outside tonight; it doesn't get more romantic than this. So SHUT UP!" Ha! Boy, if they keep Oz and Cordelia around, I won't have to do any work at all in this recap. As Cordy and Xander mack, we cut to a shot outside the car. The camera pans back to reveal something in a furry suit watching them. Well, I'm sorry, but this costume would be ample fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000, were it still on the air. Where was I? Oh, yes: Credits.

We return to our airing of As My Stomach Turns, already in progress. Xander takes a breath to ask Cordy if she heard a noise. Cordy snits, "Is Willow sending out some sort of distress signal that only you can hear?" It's sad to realize that the writers are getting Season Seven plot point ideas from Season Two throwaway dialogue. It does neatly illustrate the show's precipitous drop in quality, though. I could make a joke about Mount Everest and the Marianas Trench, but again, why do any work when someone else has already been kind enough to do it for me? They lean in again, but Xander hears a louder noise. Cordy re-straps her bitch, but is interrupted mid-rant by a furry arm punching a hole in the convertible's roof. After a bit of fumbling with the key, during which the arm flails about like an octopus on crack, Cordy backs up and hits the brakes, throwing the creature off the car, then peels out. Xander: "Told you I heard something." Cordy isn't kind enough to say it for me, so I have to do some work here: Shut up, Xander. Actually, that's not really work at all.

School parking lot. Buffy examines the roof and asks Xander if he's sure it was a werewolf. Xander takes up an entire chapter on the DVD to confirm that he's sure, and adds that it tried to bite them, which I don't recall seeing, but it's possible that my eyes staged a brief strike in protest of the slobbering in the car. Giles, Willow, and Oz are also there, and Giles reports that there were a number of other sightings of a "wild dog," and that several animal carcasses were found. Buffy's relieved to hear that no humans were hurt, but Giles cautions that the werewolf will be back for the next month's full moon. Willow corrects him that the full moon is actually that night, which I'd expect Giles to know, since Kendra knew the lunar cycle off the top of her head. Giles is flummoxed that the werewolf appeared before the full moon, and Buffy notes that he has some research to do. Giles smiles excitedly. "Werewolves! It's one of the classics." He leaves. Buffy: "He needs to get a pet." Or a TWoP recapper. And since I'm the only one currently living in England, I'll take one for the team. ["Gee, 'thanks.'" -- The Team]

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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