Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: C | 1128 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Thoroughly Modern Millie

Annoying little git Dawn is walking the Sunnydale streets, bearing her burden of not being special and being upset about it, or being special and being upset about it, or whatever -- I really couldn't care less, except to hope that she gets eaten by monsters. The Action Monkeys caper around her, screaming, "Tea and cake or death," until Dawn bursts into tears. Then they stand about, clapping each other on the back and laughing about what a baby Dawn is. I'm beginning to think they might be dangerous, but can't pass up the opportunity for a good laugh at Dawn's expense. Then the Action Monkeys tell me they're all late for badger-poking appointments and that it's time for them to leave. Handshakes all around and I thank them for getting me this far. And then I'm rubbing my eyes desperately, because I swear to God, the Monkeys are all riding off down the Sunnydale streets on zippy scooters. "Ciao!" they yell as they turn and corner and vanish from my sight. Further down the street, Dawn runs into Millie. They know each other from school. They both claim to be out "just" walking, but Dawn notices that Millie has a scratch on her forehead. Millie touches the scratch, and then, saying she's had a "bizarre" night, she puts her bloody finger in her mouth. Uh, okay. Millie doesn't want to share how she got injured because she thinks Dawn won't believe her, but then 'fesses up with a story about being at school late and getting attacked by something with a messed-up face. Dawn thinks she knows what Millie ran into, and Millie is happy to have someone believe her. Turns out she left the vampire trapped in the school and wasn't sure what to do, so she came in search of Buffy. Dawn is curious about why Millie thinks Buffy could help, and Millie explains, "Well, I've heard people talking. A lot of them think she's some kind of high-functioning schizophrenic." Ha! For the past few seasons, I totally agree. But there's more -- Millie has also heard that Buffy has expertise in the area of the bizarre. Millie wants to know if they should get Buffy. Dawn responds, "She's out. I'll take this one." Moron. Does she even have a weapon?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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