Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Primeval (2)

Episode Report Card
Primeval (2)

Don't play cards with the spirits. They cheat.

Back in 314, the camera is spinning around and around while Willow asks the spirits to "bring [them] to the vessel. Take us now." We get a shot of Buffy snapping her head back and looking wide-eyed at the sky, which seems to be the international sign for possession. At that moment, FrankenFlash launches some sort of rocket thing at the control station, and as the smoke clears, Buffy rises up from behind the charred remains with a pretty dippy look on her face, not to mention ugly-ass orange costume contact lenses. FrankenFlash tells her that she "can't last much longer." "We can. We are forever," intones Buffy. As if the contact lenses aren't enough, we also get to hear a cheesy synthesizer voice composed of all the gang's voices dubbed under Buffy's own. Buffy starts chanting in what I assume is Sumerian while FrankenFlash looks puzzled. He tries to shoot Buffy with his machine gun but the bullets hit an invisible shield and disappear. "Very. Interesting," says Adam. I think I'm supposed to detect a worried tone there but, since Riley and FrankenFlash are at least related through their inability to actually ACT, I'm having to fill in the blanks myself.

In 314, a demon is pushed against the door leaning to the pit, and it nudges open a few inches. In case you forgot, this is important because the gang cannot be disturbed during the spell.

Riley and FrankenForrest are still fighting. Forrest is pretty much kicking Riley's ass, which is not surprising since he just removed a chip from his CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM. Riley gets knocked into some gas canisters, and he picks one up and starts whupping Forrest with it. Forrest beats him back until he's standing in just the right spot under the wire that Buffy ripped in two earlier, which is now sparking like mad. Forrest wrests the canister from Riley and raises it over his head to smash Riley to bits. Unfortunately, Riley high-tails it across the lab and takes shelter behind an overturned gurney. FrankenFlamer looks up and sees the word "FLAMMABLE," which is helpfully printed in bold red letters on the side of the canister, just in case Forrest blowing up didn't get that point across.

FrankenFlash still hasn't given up trying to shoot Buffy, and he launches one of his rockets at her. She raises her hand and turns it into a dove. Then she makes this wax-on, wax-off gesture and FrankenFlash's arm retracts. Insert your own "talk to the hand" joke here. They make their way towards each other and face off. Buffy is more than holding her own this time, and as she has Adam in a chokehold he forces out a "how?" but Buffy shuts him down by saying, "Never hope to grasp the source of our power." The camera flashes an overhead shot of the gang in 314 to let us know that teamwork is saving the day. Back to Buffy doing this really lame impossible kicky move that backs FrankenFlash against the wall. She then reaches back and propels her hand into FrankenFlash's stomach and pulls out his power source. "But yours is right here," says Buffy. FrankenFlash gives her a shocked look before falling to the floor. "Ding dong! The dip is dead!" I shout with glee. Buffy contemplates the uranium that she's holding in her hand as the other dip runs into the room. The uranium begins to float and then disappears in a flash of white light. I hope they dispose of that in an environmentally sound way. Riley makes his way over to Buffy, who is standing stock still and staring straight ahead. She suddenly slumps forward, which is the international sign that a possession has ended, and Riley catches her.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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