Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Primeval (2)

Episode Report Card
Primeval (2)

It's time for a little netherworld blackjack. The dealer (Willow) takes the spirit card, Xander the heart, and Giles the mind. Buffy is the hand. I recommend that Giles hold. Please draw your own symbolic conclusions, because I know I don't need to point them out to y'all.

Buffy and Forrest fight some more. Riley reaches into his chest and roots around for the chip. He's supposed to be conveying intense pain and inner struggle, but really he just comes across as constipated. Buffy and Forrest are still fighting. He raises her high above his head, and she grabs a low hanging wire and rips it in half.

But before we can see what Buffy does with it, we're back with the rest of the gang, who are still casting the spell so they too can "inhabit the vessel: the hand."

FrankenFlamer has Buffy pinned against a gurney, and Doctors Angleman and Walsh move forward to strap her down. Cut to Riley who, with a violent tug, removes his chip. Oh, WHATEVER. As if Riley could remove a chip that was attached to his own CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM. All he did was dig around in his pectoral muscle. Forrest taunts Buffy, saying, "Is that it? Is that all you've got?" "No," croaks Riley, "she's got me," and he rushes the doctors and pulls out their blood-filled tubes, which I guess kills them or something. Forrest says something snide to Riley, and Buffy kicks him in the face, which gives her enough time to hop off the table and ask Riley if he can handle FrankenForrest so she can dispatch Adam. It looks like I'm not only going to have to suspend disbelief here, but actually expel it, because Riley tells her that he can handle it. As if he would in any way be able to fight after performing a do-it-yourself chipectomy on his CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

More shots of the battle being waged in the pit. Yawn. I don't care that Colonel McFlabby is getting his ass kicked.

Back in the actually secret secret Initiative labs, Adam is watching the battle on his surveillance monitor. "Fun, isn't it?" asks Buffy from the doorway. Adam turns towards her and tells her that he appreciates violence. "Good," says Buffy and runs towards him, but he knocks her out of mid-air. They fight a bit. Buffy gets pitched from one end of the room to the other. Adam extends his skewer, but before he can make a Buffy kabob, she grabs it and snaps it in two. "I broke your arm," she says saucily. "I've got another," he replies as his right arm telescopes out into a machine gun. Buffy's eyes get wide with fear. I wish she would have asked him if he comes with a vacuum attachment. At least then he would be useful in some way. Buffy takes off running, headed for the control station, but she gets stuck in some slo-mo, which I guess is why Adam's bullets can't catch up with her either. She finally reaches the control panel and vaults over to take shelter behind it.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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