Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 1943 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Death becomes her

Buffy, Xander, and Willow emerge from biology class, complaining about how boring it was. I had biology right after lunch my freshman year of high school. That was not a good recipe for staying awake. Buffy is wearing sunglasses, and I wonder about the fact that that's a rare occurrence for kids on this show. After all, it is California. Willow: "Even I was bored, and I'm a science nerd." Buffy tells her not to say that, but Willow says that nerds are in, as it's the computer age. Then, worriedly: "They're still in, right?" Aw. Nerd. Xander, with all the subtlety of a monster truck, asks Willow if she has a "thing." Hem. Haw. Leave.

Buffy amusedly wonders what's up with Willow, but Xander's got more important things on his mind. Of course, just about everything seemed more important to him than Willow did for the first two seasons. He shoos some guy off a bench in the courtyard, and he and Buffy sit down. He starts to crash and burn, but steels himself for an impressive recovery, directly asking her to the dance "on a date." Buffy's smile fades, and she neutrally claims not to know what to say. Xander gives a great pitch, saying they've been through a lot together, but he wants more. "I want to dance with you." Aw. Although given the way in which we've seen him dance, maybe he should start with an expensive dinner first. Buffy tries to play the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" card, which would have been my cue to give up and try to save face. However, he needs to hear more, pointing out that that's not really the issue. "You either feel a thing, or you don't." Buffy, after a pause: "I don't." Ever see that Simpsons episode where Bart had a crush on his babysitter, voiced by Sara Gilbert, and she told him she had a boyfriend? In a dream sequence, she reached into his chest and ripped out his heart, saying, "You won't be needing this!" That's what just happened to Xander. Buffy tries to apologize. Xander: "I guess a guy's got to be undead to make time with you." Buffy says that's very harsh, but unlike later seasons, allows it without getting upset or self-righteous. Xander apologizes, saying he doesn't handle rejection well. "Funny, considering all the practice I've had, huh?" When Xander is breaking my heart in the first ten minutes of an episode, it's time to get out some extra tissues, you know what I mean? He leaves. The Tinkly Piano Of Pain plays. Buffy looks sad.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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