Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 1945 USERS: A-
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Death becomes her

Giles is in his office, on the phone. As he speaks, Miss Calendar appears in the doorway. Giles tells the person on the other end that he needs to see him or her. "I realize that. Come after sundown?" From that, we can gather that he's speaking to Angel. When he hangs up, Miss Calendar pipes up that Giles is wearing the same clothes as the day before. Yeah, he didn't have any clothes at my place, so...whoops. Giles says he's not up to socializing, but Miss Calendar says she's aware that something weird is going on. He's startled, and asks what she knows. She explains that people send a lot of occult-related stuff her way, and that apocalyptic things have been happening, the highlights of which were a cat giving birth to snakes, a baby born with its eyes facing inward, and the advent of a TV show called Dawson's Creek. Okay, she only said the first two. And this site probably wouldn't exist without that show, so I guess I don't really mean it. Do I? Sars? ["Our official letterhead reads 'End Of Days Without Pity.' Carry on." -- Sars] She goes on that, if they throw in the earthquake, "the end is pretty seriously nigh." Giles doesn't know if he can trust her, but she refers to her help in "I Robot, You Jane" for credibility. When that episode is your best character reference, you've got serious problems. She says that she's scared, and what's more, some monk from Cortona (let me forget IRYJ already, please!) has been emailing her about a prophecy concerning the Anointed One. Giles worriedly tells her to talk to the monk and find out what he knows. She agrees after he promises that he'll explain himself later. And sleep with her. Well, I thought that was implied.

Cordelia and Meathead, in the hallway. She asks him to do some Spring Fling-related stuff, and they make plans to meet at the Bronze the next morning. She spies Willow, and goes up to her, saying she likes her outfit. Willow: "No you don't." Cordy: "No, I really don't. But I need a favor." Heh. And Willow's outfit is hideous, for the record. Her sweater has bell-bottomed sleeves. Fashion, have you met disaster? Our favorite doormat asks what Cordy needs. She says that the Bronze won't let them use the house sound system, so she needs Willow to hook up the one they'll be bringing in. Willow sees Xander tossing a tennis ball at the wall in an empty classroom. She distractedly agrees to meet Cordy at the Bronze at 10 AM, and walks away. Entering the classroom, she asks Xander how it went with Buffy. Xander delivers possibly my all-time favorite line of his: "On a scale of one to ten? It sucked." He continues that Buffy "couldn't care less" about him. He just went up, like, a notch for not saying "could care less." People who say that need to be brought down hard. Willow says she's sorry, but points out that at least now he knows. Knows that the object of his affection will never touch him? I'm guessing "motivational speaker" isn't part of your career path, Willow. Brightening, Xander says that he and Willow can go together, but she turns him down. He's surprised, and now it's her turn to break my heart: "You think I want to go to the dance with you and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks? You should know better." Beautifully understated sentiment, and testament to how much the show used to rely on acting rather than anvils. Xander fumbles for words. Willow sincerely says she's sorry that it didn't work out with Buffy, and leaves. Xander resumes throwing the ball against the wall. He says he's going to go home and listen to country music, "the music of pain." It really is, too.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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