Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Prophecy Girl

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 12 USERS: B+
Death becomes her

Buffy amusedly wonders what's up with Willow, but Xander's got more important things on his mind. Of course, just about everything seemed more important to him than Willow did for the first two seasons. He shoos some guy off a bench in the courtyard, and he and Buffy sit down. He starts to crash and burn, but steels himself for an impressive recovery, directly asking her to the dance "on a date." Buffy's smile fades, and she neutrally claims not to know what to say. Xander gives a great pitch, saying they've been through a lot together, but he wants more. "I want to dance with you." Aw. Although given the way in which we've seen him dance, maybe he should start with an expensive dinner first. Buffy tries to play the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" card, which would have been my cue to give up and try to save face. However, he needs to hear more, pointing out that that's not really the issue. "You either feel a thing, or you don't." Buffy, after a pause: "I don't." Ever see that Simpsons episode where Bart had a crush on his babysitter, voiced by Sara Gilbert, and she told him she had a boyfriend? In a dream sequence, she reached into his chest and ripped out his heart, saying, "You won't be needing this!" That's what just happened to Xander. Buffy tries to apologize. Xander: "I guess a guy's got to be undead to make time with you." Buffy says that's very harsh, but unlike later seasons, allows it without getting upset or self-righteous. Xander apologizes, saying he doesn't handle rejection well. "Funny, considering all the practice I've had, huh?" When Xander is breaking my heart in the first ten minutes of an episode, it's time to get out some extra tissues, you know what I mean? He leaves. The Tinkly Piano Of Pain plays. Buffy looks sad.

Giles is in his office, on the phone. As he speaks, Miss Calendar appears in the doorway. Giles tells the person on the other end that he needs to see him or her. "I realize that. Come after sundown?" From that, we can gather that he's speaking to Angel. When he hangs up, Miss Calendar pipes up that Giles is wearing the same clothes as the day before. Yeah, he didn't have any clothes at my place, so...whoops. Giles says he's not up to socializing, but Miss Calendar says she's aware that something weird is going on. He's startled, and asks what she knows. She explains that people send a lot of occult-related stuff her way, and that apocalyptic things have been happening, the highlights of which were a cat giving birth to snakes, a baby born with its eyes facing inward, and the advent of a TV show called Dawson's Creek. Okay, she only said the first two. And this site probably wouldn't exist without that show, so I guess I don't really mean it. Do I? Sars? ["Our official letterhead reads 'End Of Days Without Pity.' Carry on." -- Sars] She goes on that, if they throw in the earthquake, "the end is pretty seriously nigh." Giles doesn't know if he can trust her, but she refers to her help in "I Robot, You Jane" for credibility. When that episode is your best character reference, you've got serious problems. She says that she's scared, and what's more, some monk from Cortona (let me forget IRYJ already, please!) has been emailing her about a prophecy concerning the Anointed One. Giles worriedly tells her to talk to the monk and find out what he knows. She agrees after he promises that he'll explain himself later. And sleep with her. Well, I thought that was implied.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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