Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

7-22
Recap

It's Buffy's world, we just live in it

Chosen - And now, the end is near; and so we face the final curtain. My friends, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. Buffy's lived a life that's full; she's traveled each and ev'ry highway. But more, much more than this, she did it her way. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, when Buffy bit off more than she could chew. But through it all, when there was doubt, she ate it up and spit it out. She faced it all and she stood tall, and did it her way.

05.19.2003
05.25.2003
C+

Ace

7-21
Recap

Lo! The Prodigal Slayer Returns!

End Of Days - Buffy findeth the weapon Caleb hath concealed from her, and choppeth him in half.

05.12.2003
05.19.2003
C-

Sep

7-20
Recap

Touched

Touched - Faith muses, "Gimme, gimme, gimme, a man after midnight," and uses Wood to help chase the shadows away. Spike tells Buffy, "Take a chance on me," and she becomes the Super Trouper she needs to be to defeat Caleb. Faith finally meets her Waterloo -- she couldn't escape if she wanted to. What's the name of the game The First is really playing? Will the winner take it all? Um, tune in next week for answers to those questions.

05.05.2003
05.12.2003
C-

Ace

7-19
Recap

Empty Places

Empty Places - Andrew and Spike take a little trip and find a possible clue to Caleb's identity. Faith takes the crew dancing, but some Sunnydale cops want to cut in. Buffy orders her troops back to the vineyard, but they're resistant. Snarks and sneer are exchanged, and in the end, Buffy gets booted.

04.28.2003
05.05.2003
C+

Sep

7-18
Recap

Do U think I'm a dirty girl?

Dirty Girls - There's a new sheriff in town. Well, actually he's a fallen religious man working for the First. Buffy decides to take the fight to him. Well, actually she falls into a trap and gets her ass handed to her on a plate. Warning: this episode has a high monologue content. May be harmful for some viewers.

04.14.2003
04.21.2003
C+

Ace

7-17
Recap

Lies My Parents Told Me

Lies My Parents Told Me - Spike and Wood at the Grudge Garage. Two men enter. Unfortunately, both of them also leave.

03.24.2003
03.31.2003

Sep

7-16
Recap

Put that in your pantheon

Storyteller - Andrew's moving on up! To his very own episode full of his videotaped interludes and escapist fantasies. Looks like a tad of character development is in store for our little Weasel as he helps to disable the Seal of Danzig.

02.24.2003
03.03.2003
C+

Ace

7-15
Recap

Get It Done

Get It Done - Buffy goes time-tripping and discovers that the origins of the Slayer lie in violation and misty demon-rape. Still doesn't excuse the bitchy behavior she exhibits in most of this episode.

02.17.2003
02.23.2003
C-

Sep

7-14
Recap

More like "last date"

First Date - Principal Wood takes Buffy on a date and tells her his secret identity. Xander learns that women who shop for hardware while wearing belly shirts are truly, truly evil.

02.10.2003
02.17.2003
C

Ace

7-13
Recap

The Killer In Me

The Killer In Me - With a little help, Willow's guilt turns her into flay-boy Warren Meers. Buffy and Spike exhibit classic drug-seeking behavior. Giles gets more touch than he's gotten since Season Four.

02.03.2003
02.09.2003
D+

Sep

7-12
Recap

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Potential - Buffy trains the current crop of inept potential Slayers while the rest of the Scoobies attempt to locate another one, who turns out to be Millie from Freaks & Geeks. The less said about Dawn, the better.

01.20.2003
01.27.2003
C-

Ace

7-11
Recap

Showtime

Showtime - More and more Junior Misses are arriving at Casa Summers, and their incessant whining about dying is driving Buffy to distraction, so she whips up a little plan to let them see a successful Slayer in action. Giles and Anya sneak away to "consult an oracle." Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

01.06.2003
01.13.2003
C-

Sep

7-10
Recap

Bring On The Night

Bring On The Night - Giles is back in Sunnydale, bringing with him a few Slayers in training. Between them and Juliet Landau appearing as The First Evil appearing as Drusilla, the English language is mangled beyond belief.

12.16.2002
12.25.2002
C

Ace

7-9
Recap

Never Leave Me

Never Leave Me - Spike is kidnapped by the First Evil in order to raise a vampire.

11.25.2002
12.02.2002
C-

Sep

7-8
Recap

Hummer

Sleeper - Spike hums. Spike digs. Spike whines. Spike forgets. Spike remembers. Spike feeds. Spike fights. No one else does much of interest, except for Giles, who might be dead.

11.18.2002
11.21.2002
B

Chuck

7-7
Recap

Conversations With Dead People

Conversations With Dead People - This season's big bad is feeling a little neglected, and decides to act out and play mind games to get some attention. But the big bad ignores Anya and Xander completely -- is that some sort of commentary on their minds?

11.11.2002
11.18.2002
A

Sep

7-6
Recap

Him? Huh.

Him - Buffy, Willow, Anya, and Dawn act like a bunch of ninnies over a boring boy. It's up to Spike and Xander to save the females from their rampant hormones.

11.04.2002
11.11.2002
C

Ace

7-5
Recap

Vengeance! Plague! Death! Confusion!

Selfless - Every second-tier character gets one showcase episode. This one is Anya's.

10.21.2002
10.28.2002
B-

Ace

7-4
Recap

She's gonna die. Believe it.

Help - Buffy the counselor faces her first on-the-job challenge, as a girl with the ability to see into the future predicts her own death.

10.14.2002
10.17.2002
D+

Alex Richmond

7-3
Recap

Where's Willow?

Same Time, Same Place - Willow returns to Sunnydale, but whether her friends choose to forgive her remains to be seen.

10.07.2002
10.14.2002
B-

Sep

7-2
Recap

Beneath Who?

Beneath You - The Gang deals with the fallout from Anya's day job. Willow prepares to return to Sunnydale. Buffy finds out about Spike's soul and Spike puts on a few hundred pounds. All that scenery is fattening, doncha know?

09.30.2002
10.07.2002
C+

Ace

7-1
Recap

Golden rule days

Lessons - All those gloomy clouds of misery over Sunnydale have lifted for Dawn's first day at the newly rebuilt Sunnydale High. Oh, except for the fact that Buffy is attacked by a bunch of zombie-spirit things who seem to have learned a vengeful variation on the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you think they have done unto you.

09.23.2002
09.30.2002
B-

Sep

6-22
Recap

The Power Of Lurve

Grave (2) - Evil lesbian Wicca girl goes Satanic and tries to destroy the world, but she and the world are both saved by the power of blue-collar man-love.

05.20.2002
05.28.2002
C

Ace

6-21
Recap

Two Too Many

Two To Go (1) - Hopped up on goofballs, Willow goes evil in the most annoying way possible.

05.20.2002
05.27.2002
C-

Sep

6-20
Recap

Willow needs to spank her inner moppet

Villains - Looking like nothing so much as the severe headmistress of Miss Minchin's Seminary for Girls, Willow goes after Warren to avenge Tara's death. Ace falls asleep. Frances makes a pointed editorial comment.

05.13.2002
05.20.2002
C-

Ace

6-19
Recap

Seeing Red

Seeing Red - Let Spike go on/Let him blister in the sun/Let Spike go on/Big Joss I know you're the one/Pointy sharp stake or a neck break/I am telling no lie/Burning in sun would be way fun/Please accept that Spike must die/Let Spike go on/Let him blister in the sun/Let Spike go on/Big Joss I know you're the one.

05.06.2002
05.13.2002
B

Sep

6-18
Recap

We fall to pieces

Entropy - Everybody hurts...sometimes. The only question remaining is: who's hurting the most? Is it Anya, Xander, Buffy, and Spike for having to live this crap, or Ace for having to watch it?

04.29.2002
05.06.2002
C+

Ace

6-17
Recap

Return to Sunnydale

Normal Again - Buffy can't decide if she is living out an existential dilemma or just trapped in a series of self-indulgent in-jokes.

03.11.2002
03.18.2002
C+

Strega

6-16
Recap

A Match Made In Sunnydale

Hell's Bells - Did it ever have any chance of working out? After endless and utterly unamusing wedding preparations, Xander and Anya tie the knot, except NOT, because this is Sunnydale and nobody can ever be happy. Ever.

03.04.2002
03.11.2002
C

Ace

6-16
none

A Match Made In Sunnydale

Hell’s Bells - Did it ever have any chance of working out? After endless and utterly unamusing wedding preparations, Xander and Anya tie the knot, except NOT, because this is Sunnydale and nobody can ever be happy. Ever.

03.04.2002
03.11.2002
C

Ace

6-15
Recap

That old spud of mine

As You Were - Just as Buffy's life seems at its lowest point ever, her ex-boyfriend Riley soldiers into town. He's got a job he loves and a perfect little wifey too. After seeing them, Buffy would be perfectly justified in spending another few episodes sniffling into her microwave popcorn, but instead it looks like she sets about making some positive changes.

02.25.2002
03.04.2002
B-

Sep

6-14
Recap

Real World: Sunnydale

Older And Far Away - What happens when people stop being polite and start being real? A fat lot of nothing. The gang is trapped inside the Summers home when a wish by Dawn goes awry. Everyone stands around and talks a lot.

02.11.2002
02.18.2002
C+

Ace

6-13
Recap

Dead Things

Dead Things - As we near the end of the season, the Buffy writers finally pony up some plot progression. Warren and crew devise a device that allows them to enslave women, but the plan goes horribly wrong. Warren decides to pin his crime on Buffy, which hardly distracts her from her usual routine of macking on and mauling Spike.

02.04.2002
02.12.2002
B-

Sep

6-12
Recap

Buffy's got a job!

Doublemeat Palace - Buffy gets a job in a fast food place, and we're treated to many gratuitous meat shots. For once, none of them are of Spike.

01.28.2002
02.04.2002
C+

Ace

6-11
Recap

The Unbearable Lightness of Buffy

Gone - Buffy dons a bowler hat and has sweaty sex with Daniel Day Lewis. No, that's not it. Actually, Buffy becomes invisible, and instead of bemoaning the loss of her ability to turn heads with strange fashions, she finds the experience liberating. And apparently a liberated Buffy wants nothing more than to play petty pranks and partake of porking.

01.07.2002
01.14.2002
D+

Sep

6-10
Recap

Feed your head

Wrecked - One spell makes you cooler / One spell makes you a doll / And the ones that Tara allows you / Aren't very much fun at all. / Go ask Willow / When she's under Rack's thrall.

11.26.2001
12.03.2001
D+

Ace

6-9
Recap

Smashed

Smashed - Willow liberates Amy from her fuzzy prison, and the duo go on a conjure bender at the Bronze. Meanwhile, Buffy, busy saving some orphaned puppies, inhales some dust in an abandoned building and has difficulty breathing, so Spike has to give her the Heimlich maneuver.

11.19.2001
11.26.2001

Sep

6-8
Recap

The Blankest Slate

Tabula Rasa - Willow casts a spell on Buffy to make her forget that she was ripped out of heaven. The spell goes wrong, however, and the whole Scooby gang forget their identities. What follows is either one of the funniest sad Buffy episodes, or one of the saddest fun Buffy episodes, ever.

11.12.2001
11.19.2001
B

Ace

6-7
Recap

Once More, With Feeling

Once More, With Feeling - A demon comes to Sunnydale and -- no, wait! It's different this time, I swear! His influence causes the gang to sing aloud their deepest, darkest secrets. Buffy, in an effort to scrimp, has been using inferior hair care products. Tara has a secret stash of Teen Beat magazines -- all featuring the Coreys. Xanya. Well, none of Xanya's embarrassments has been secret for a very long time so we don't learn much when they sing.

11.05.2001
11.12.2001
A

Sep

6-6
Recap

Baby Baby Oh Baby

All The Way - This week on Adventures In Babysitting (formerly known as Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Dawn pulls a fast one and sneaks out for Halloween night. In the Babysittingverse, demons are supposed to take a night off from wreaking havoc on Halloween, but some dumb teen vamps didn't get the memo. Too bad they're the guys Dawn ends up hanging out with.

10.29.2001
11.06.2001
D+

Ace

6-5
Recap

Life Serial

Life Serial - Buffy is unknowingly menaced by the Legion of Dim. Because of her financial woes, Buffy enters the workforce, and despite years of fighting off legions of demons and other nasties, isn't prepared for a career in retail.

10.22.2001
10.29.2001
C

Sep

6-4
Recap

All wet

Flooded - Buffy adjusts to normal life as the basement floods, and running gags surface as the new menace in Sunnydale.

10.15.2001
10.20.2001
C

Strega

6-3
Recap

My best friend went to hell and all I got was this dumb t-shirt

After Life - Buffy adjusts to normal -- ahem -- life as the Scoobies try to convince themselves that they did a good thing by resurrecting her.

10.08.2001
10.14.2001
B-

Sep

6-2
Recap

Bargaining, Part II

Bargaining, Part II - A gang of demon bikers is drawn to Sunnydale by the first-rate public schools and affordable real-estate. No, wait. Those are yuppies. Such an easy mistake to make. The demon bikers are attracted by news of Buffy's death. They decide to set up shop in Sunnydale, but the joke is on them when Buffy comes back from the grave and puts the marzipan in their pie plates but good!

10.01.2001
10.08.2001
C

Sep

6-1
Recap

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Bargaining, Part I - Fun was had by all. The gang secretly interred Buffy in some remote location; Willow and Tara moved into the Summers home; the Buffybot honed her Buffy impression; and Spike took up baby-sitting. How nice to see him earning some pocket change.

10.01.2001
10.07.2001
C

Ace

5-22
Recap

I wonder what the return policy is?

The Gift - Buffy challenges Glory to a game of Chutes 'N' Ladders for possession of Dawn, while Joss attempts to tie up a season's worth of straggling plots. Cameo appearances include the Dagon Sphere, the troll hammer, believable character interaction, and chemistry between Willow and Tara.

05.21.2001
05.29.2001
B+

Sep

5-21
Recap

The Weight Of The World

The Weight Of The World - Ever get that déjà vu feeling? Ever get that déjà vu feeling? Ever get that déjà vu feeling? Ever -- get the point? The second to last episode of Buffy's fifth season is tedious filler with the same three scenes repeating over and over. Willow witch-walks in the catatonic Slayer's mind. Ben and Glory fight for control of Dawn and their body (bodies?). And Spike suffers a humiliating demotion to butt-monkey, a slot he has to share with the original butt-monkey, Xander Harris.

05.14.2001
05.22.2001
C

Ace

5-20
Recap

Road Side Story

Spiral - The Knights are gonna get the Key, toniiiight!
The Scoobies drive a big RV, toniiiight!
This year, the minutes seemed like hours
The arc progressed so slowly
And still no end in siiiight!

05.07.2001
05.14.2001
B-

Sep

5-19
Recap

Scenes from a passport office

Tough Love - Or, "The Unedited Buffy You Never Wanted To See." Buffy routes paperwork. Buffy repairs an appliance. Buffy folds laundry. Buffy goes to a parent-teacher conference. Dawn does homework. Dawn does homework some more. Glory practices personal hygiene. The recapper props her eyelids open with spork tines. To spice things up a little, Giles goes all Ripper, Tara goes all Forrest Gump, and Willow goes all Fairuza Balk. The recapper falls asleep and drools on her cat.

04.30.2001
05.07.2001
C+

Ace

5-18
Recap

Domo arigato, Buffy Roboto

Intervention - Spike's got himself a mechanical honey whose joints need oilin'! Oog, I just made myself sick. Meanwhile, Buffy, scared that slaying is turning her to stone, decides to spend some quality time with a large amount of sand. Upon returning to Sunnydale, she discovers the Scoobies have reached new lows in not being able to distinguish her from her vapid home-sex-appliance double. Glory tortures Spike, but he doesn't give up the goods. Oh no he doesn't, because these days he's a fuzzy-wuzzy, sweetie-pie good guy.

04.23.2001
04.30.2001
C

Sep

5-17
Recap

Nevermore

Forever - Once upon a midnight dreary, while Buffy pondered, weak and weary,
Over a spell cast by the bereft Dawny with some forgotten lore --
While she stood crying, nearly snapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at the Summers' door.
"'Tis some visitor," she muttered, "tapping at my front door -- only this and nothing more."

04.16.2001
04.23.2001
B

Ace

5-16
Recap

Ah...memories

The Body - Sadness reigns in Sunnydale when Buffy discovers her mother's lifeless body. Oh, Joyce, can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line? Now all Buffy has are misty water-colored memories of the way you were.

02.26.2001
03.05.2001
A

Sep

5-15
Recap

Luring disco dollies to a life of vice

I Was Made To Love You - Running low on actual dwarfs, Warren builds himself a sexbot named April, who rampages through Sunnydale searching for her creator and teaches Buffy that she's good, she's worth it, and gosh-darnit, people like her.

02.19.2001
02.26.2001
B-

Ace

5-14
Recap

They fight. And fight.

Crush - And fight. And fight and fight and fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. The Buffy and Spi-ike shooooow!

02.12.2001
02.20.2001
B+

Sep

5-13
Recap

Thank YOU very much, Second Law of Thermodynamics!

Blood Ties - Things get ugly at Buffy's birthday party (no, really this time!) when Dawn runs away after learning she's actually just a bunch of energy, and the whole gang rushes to protect her from deregulation. And speaking of the conservation of energy, we find out why there's no loss of suckage when switching between Ben's and Glory's scenes.

02.05.2001
02.12.2001
B-

Ace

5-12
Recap

Who watches the watchermen?

Checkpoint - The Council of Watchers comes to Sunnydale with information on Glory, but they want Buffy to jump through a bunch of hoops before they tell her anything.

01.22.2001
01.29.2001
B-

Sep

5-11
Recap

Triangle Xan, triangle Xan, doin' the things a triangle can

Triangle - Tensions run high between Anya and Willow, each of whom mistrusts the other's role in Xander's life.

01.08.2001
01.15.2001
C+

Ace

5-10
Recap

Into The Woods

Into The Woods - Joyce's operation was a success, so she's out of the woods, but revelations concerning Riley's dark hobbies lead to a final showdown between him and the Slayer.

12.18.2000
12.28.2000
B

Sep

5-9
Recap

Listening To Fear

Listening To Fear - A meteorite falls to Earth, containing the Queller Feller, a demon that preys on the insane. Because of her brain tumor, it looks like Joyce might be its next victim.

11.27.2000
12.05.2000
C+

Ace

5-8
Recap

Without a shadow of a doubt

Shadow - This is not a funny episode. Buffy faces the grown-up reality that her mother might be unable to lead a normal life due to a brain tumor. Riley drifts further afield and allows a vampire to gnaw on his neck. Once bitten, will Riley be twice shy? Only time will tell. Giles and the Scoobies continue their uselessness. The Abimbomination gets a name and a snake from Archie McPhees to play with.

11.20.2000
11.27.2000
D

Sep

5-7
Recap

Fool To Cry

Fool For Love - Buffy suffers the indignity of getting staked by a vamp with questionable hygiene. Wondering how she could slip up despite being in peak physical condition, she seeks out Spike, whom she persuades to tell her how he killed two Slayers. Turns out Spike was a wussy man-child, suffering for his art until he met Dru in a dark alley. Many costume and wig changes later, Spike offers Buffy his theory about Slayers' inherent death wishes and then tries to smooch her.

11.13.2000
11.20.2000
D

Ace

5-6
Recap

Secrets And Lies

Family - Tara's "secret" comes out: She's a closet Republican and voted for Bush. Wait. That's not it. Actually, she's a demon. But that's an easy mistake to make. Tara's family arrives to drag her back to Bass Ackwards, Idaho against her will. Everything works out in the end when Spike proves Tara is 100-percent human. Tara is adopted into the Scooby Gang and tells her family to take a hike, and Tara and Willow share a floaty dance at Tara's birthday party. Blech. Does anyone know how to get extreme loads of sap out of the carpet?

11.06.2000
11.13.2000
D

Sep

5-5
Recap

The Shady In Red

No Place Like Home - In a spectacularly plot-free episode, we learn that Joyce is suffering from horrible headaches, and Buffy has come down with severe Sibling Rivalry syndrome. Buffy decides her mom's illness is caused by a spell and gets all trancy, only to discover that Dawn is the magical presence in her home. In other news, an Old-World monk comes to town, trailed by a hot blonde in a red dress. Somebody send a memo to Darla to move over, 'cos there's a new sheriff in town -- the Abimbonation.

10.23.2000
10.29.2000
D

Ace

5-4
Recap

Out Of My Mind

Out Of My Mind - Aw, is sumbuddy feewing wike she's not the center of the uniwerse?

10.16.2000
10.16.2000
D

Sep

5-3
Recap

The Replacement

The Replacement - Anya, in a rare show of human emotion, rubs Xander's leg. He opines that perhaps the time has come for him to find his own pad. Something a littler nicer. Something with less urine.

10.09.2000
10.09.2000
D

Jessica

5-2
Recap

Real Me

Real Me - Dawn is in her room in the Summers' house, writing in her diary. We hear her entry aloud in voice-over, and it's typical teen angst, but with an "Ooh, double meaning!" edge.

10.02.2000
10.02.2000
D

Sep

5-1
Recap

Buffy vs. Dracula

Buffy vs. Dracula - "Tonight, destiny will bring Buffy face to face with the greatest vampire of all."

09.25.2000
09.25.2000

Ace

4-1
Extra

Cruel Intentions

Cruel Intentions - Sebastian tosses the "Good Parenting" book away. Hey, he probably should have held on to that. I guess he didn't plan on knocking up Reese Witherspoon.

03.04.1999
06.11.2000
D+

Key Grip

4-22
Recap

Restless

Restless - Instead of ending up onstage, though, Willow walks down a long narrow corridor made of red curtains. I quickly jot Twin Peaks on my rental list and wonder how many more "homages" Joss has up his sleeve.

05.22.2000
05.22.2000
D

Ace

4-21
Recap

Primeval (2)

Primeval (2) - In Adam's cave lair, Adam bores Riley and then calls him "brother." Adam explains that Professor Walsh installed a chip in Riley's chest that allows Adam to control him.

05.15.2000
05.15.2000

Sep

4-20
Recap

The Yoko Factor (1)

The Yoko Factor (1) - Col. McFlabby explains that the Initiative soldiers are doing a great job capturing HSTs, but are having morale problems, due to things like the death of Professor Walsh and the escape of Adam.

05.08.2000
05.08.2000

Ace

4-19
Recap

New Moon Rising

New Moon Rising - Giles thinks whatever Riley had to say was fascinating, and Anya brats, "To an extremely bored person." Giles starts to give her a well-deserved talking-to, but he is interrupted by the appearance of Oz.

05.01.2000
05.01.2000
D

Sep

4-18
Recap

Where The Wild Things Are

Where The Wild Things Are - Riley picks leaves out of Buffy's hair and they do the whole "slaying makes me horny" routine which is (1) sick-making and (2) what the hell are the writers trying to say? Ooh, ultra-violence gets the juices flowing!

04.24.2000
04.24.2000
D

Ace

4-17
Recap

Superstar

Superstar - But this time the credits are interspersed with shots of Action Jonathan doing various un-Jonathan things like shooting a crossbow and looking suave. Hee! I'm cracking up; I don't even mind taking the extra time to describe them.

04.03.2000
04.03.2000
D

Sep

4-16
Recap

Who Are You? (2)

Who Are You? (2) - Baith struggles wildly in a hospital bed. She's yelling that she needs to get home to protect her mother, but a doctor injects her with a sedative. Baith continues to struggle until she passes out.

02.28.2000
02.28.2000

Ace

4-15
Recap

This Year's Girl (1)

This Year's Girl (1) - Faith lies, comatose. She's dressed in a hospital gown and her face is pale and drawn.

02.21.2000
02.21.2000

Sep

4-15
none

This Year's Girl (1)

This Year’s Girl (1) - Faith lies, comatose. She's dressed in a hospital gown and her face is pale and drawn.

02.21.2000
02.21.2000

Sep

4-14
Recap

Goodbye Iowa

Goodbye Iowa - When Giles ponders why Dr. Walsh turned on Buffy, Buffy confesses that she asked too many questions. Anya suggests that Buffy was "getting too close to something," and Giles looks concerned as to what that "something" could be.

02.14.2000
02.14.2000

Ace

4-13
Recap

The "I" In "Team"

The "I" In "Team" - Xander says that although he thinks Riley is all right "in an oafish kind of a way," he has doubts about the Initiative. Willow ventures that the commandos are good guys and "anti-demon."

02.07.2000
02.07.2000

Sep

4-12
Recap

A New Man

A New Man - Does Buffy still have a class taught by Professor Walsh, or is her admiration carrying over from last semester? I was excusing Buffy and Riley dating based on the assumption that he's no longer her TA, but it looks like I could be mistaken. Bad Riley! Bad!

01.24.2000
01.24.2000
D

Ace

4-11
Recap

Doomed

Doomed - Buffy claims she's suffering damage, but Riley disagrees. He asks what they are going to do and Buffy tells him that she thought he was a "nice, normal guy" and that she needs some space to think things over.

01.17.2000
01.17.2000
D

Sep

4-10
Recap

Hush

Hush - "Can't even shout; can't even cry; the Gentlemen are coming by. Looking in windows; knocking on doors; they need to take seven and they might take yours. Can't call to mom, can't say a word; you're gonna die a-screaming but you won't be heard."

12.14.1999
12.14.1999
D

Ace

4-9
Recap

Something Blue

Something Blue - Riley admits that he preps before talking to Buffy and that having a conversation with her is "like an oral exam." I'm not going to say anything about that line. Not. A. Thing.

11.29.1999
11.29.1999
D

Sep

4-8
Recap

Pangs

Pangs - The camera pans into the bushes, where we see Angel lurking and looking befuddled as always. Couldn't he just stay on his own show?

11.22.1999
11.22.1999
D

Ace

4-7
Recap

The Initiative

The Initiative - Parker? Aw, crap.

11.15.1999
11.15.1999
D

Sep

4-6
Recap

Wild At Heart

Wild At Heart - What religion is Buffy that she would look up to address the forces of darkness? Well, anyway, I'm glad that mopey Buffy seems to have been banished.

11.08.1999
11.08.1999
D

Ace

4-5
Recap

Beer Bad

Beer Bad - I really, really did not like this episode. The same day I saw it, I was involved in a car accident, and Buffy was by far the worse experience.

11.01.1999
11.01.1999
D

Sep

4-4
Recap

Fear, Itself

Fear, Itself - Xander inquires what the Alpha Delt thing is and Buffy and Oz explain that it's a Scary House that ends in a "all-out" party. Xander pouts and insists that he's not interested in a college party, but agrees to attend almost before Willow's invitation to accompany them has left her lips.

10.25.1999
10.25.1999

Ace

4-3
Recap

The Harsh Light Of Day

The Harsh Light Of Day - Harmony says that Willow hasn't changed a bit and Willow, being polite, says, "You neither." Harmony disagrees, saying she has changed "a little," and vamps out. Well, knock me down with a feather, I sure didn't see that coming!

10.18.1999
10.18.1999
D

Sep

4-2
Recap

Living Conditions

Living Conditions - Different taste in music is definitely a realistic reason for dorm roommate conflict; particularly for first-year students. I must also admit that in my younger days I would have been none too patient with someone who ironed their jeans.

10.11.1999
10.11.1999
D

Ace

4-1
Recap

The Freshman

The Freshman - Buffy, stand up for yourself and sign up for another class. Whatever it takes to circumvent Riley before he happens.

10.04.1999
10.04.1999
D

Sep

3-22
Recap

Earshot

Earshot - Buffy gets telepathic powers and thinks she'll be able to use them to her advantage, but NO! Her big cold hard unfeeling employer had to chop her off at the knees so the partners wouldn't have to receive a lower bonus this year! She tries to get into Angel's mind, but all she can make out is something about cutting costs and economic slowdowns and lower profit projections. That's because Angel, like the recapper's former employer, is DEAD INSIDE! They care about NO ONE! Or maybe I'm projecting? Also, Buffy saves Jonathan.

09.20.1999
09.24.1999
B

Sep

3-21
Recap

This Job Should Really Be Union

Graduation Day, Part II - In the space of about twelve hours, Buffy saves Angel, gets a transfusion, organizes her high school into a commando force, and blows up the school. She's not too busy to insult Wesley one last time, either. Then again, who is?

06.12.1999
06.15.1999
A

Couch Baron

3-20
Recap

Shoot That Poisoned Arrow

Graduation Day, Part I - Seniors all, Buffy and the Scooby gang are just dying to get out of high school. Problem is, the Mayor has plans to make their dreams come uncomfortably true at commencement.

05.17.1999
05.20.1999
A

Ace

3-19
Recap

The Crying Game

The Prom - That's what this episode is -- a whole lot of tears. But it's sweet, and a deft end to the Buffy/Angel romance. Hey, at least no one got stabbed with a sword this time, right?

05.10.1999
05.13.1999
A+

Couch Baron

3-18
Recap

Choose Life

Choices - Willow's life, in particular. The Scoobs steal something vital to the Mayor's Ascension, but elect to give it back to retrieve a captured Willow. It's a classic example of when "the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many." Or maybe it's just because Alyson Hannigan had a contract.

05.03.1999
05.06.1999
B+

Couch Baron

3-17
Recap

Public Enemy Number One

Enemies - Faith wants the one she can't have, and it's driving her mad. Mad enough to team up with the Mayor in a dastardly plot to separate Angel from his soul. In the end, it turns out the Buffy has a little surprise of her own for the Faithster.

03.15.1999
03.18.1999
A

Ace

3-16
Recap

Faith Who?

Doppelgangland - There's a new sexy bitch in town, and her name's VampWillow. Watch her play with boys and girls alike.

02.22.1999
02.25.1999
A

Couch Baron

3-15
Recap

Doin' the wild thang

Consequences - This episode has it all: dangerous sex games, lurking angels, dramatic revelations, and inappropriate use of bathroom stalls. Thrill to Cordy's new romance! Gasp at Xander's close brush with death! Scoff at Wesley's extreme incompetence!

02.15.1999
02.18.1999
B+

Sep

3-14
Recap

Bad Girls

Bad Girls - Faith and Buffy go on a rampage, stealin', sassin', and pickin' on the fat kid. But it all goes a little too far when Faith accidentally stabs the Deputy Mayor.

02.08.1999
02.11.1999
B-

Ace

3-13
Recap

A Midsummer Night's Nightmare

The Zeppo - Everyone behaves so out of character in this episode that I'm reminded of A Midsummer Night's Dream, except that it's not funny. There are so many ways a Xander-centric episode could have worked, but since the writers hate him, they picked one that totally doesn't.

01.25.1999
01.28.1999
C

Couch Baron

3-12
Recap

Look at me. I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree.

Helpless - Except by "me," I mean "Buffy."

01.18.1999
01.21.1999
B-

Couch Baron

3-11
Recap

Okay, That's Taking "Active Parenting" A Little Too Far

Gingerbread - Burning your kids at the stake, that is. Nevertheless, that's what Willow's mom and Joyce try to do, albeit under a demon's influence. Cordy's directly responsible for saving their lives, which is cool, because the Couch Baron likes her. In other news, Faith who?

01.11.1999
01.14.1999
B

Couch Baron

3-10
Recap

The Sky Is Falling!

Amends - My mistake -- it's not the sky, it's just huge cheese anvils. You'll probably wish it had been the sky after seeing this episode, though. As if being subjected to David Boreanaz's Irish accent again wasn't enough, we also have to endure a very special ending. Way to bring a great season to a grinding halt.

12.14.1998
12.17.1998
C

Couch Baron

3-9
Recap

You Always Kill The Ones You Love

The Wish - Oz kills Willow. Buffy kills Xander. The Master kills Buffy. Well, he sort of loved her. In this brilliant twist on It's A Wonderful Life, Cordy's wish propels Sunnydale into an alternate reality. It's all fun and games until almost the entire main cast dies. Fortunately, Giles is there to save the day. I never get tired of that.

12.07.1998
12.10.1998
A+

Couch Baron

3-8
Recap

Walking And Talking. And Talking. And Talking.

Lover's Walk - Spike's back in Sunnydale. Hijinks ensue. Unfortunately, "hijinks" in this case means "moping, whining, and talking." The ending's cool, at least. Oh, and Cordelia almost dies.

11.23.1998
11.26.1998
B

Couch Baron

3-7
Recap

Things aren't always as they seem

Revelations - Faith gets a new Watcher. Is she really who she claims to be? Is Angel still evil? Is Buffy crazy? Can Giles hold a grudge? Does Faith have a clue what's going on? The answer to all of the above is "no." Well, except for the Giles part.

11.16.1998
11.19.1998
A

Couch Baron

3-6
Recap

Sexy And Seventeen

Band Candy - Well, acting like it, at least. Some tainted candy makes adults act like teenagers. Other stuff happens, but it's not important. How do you spell sexy? G-I-L-E-S.

11.09.1998
11.11.1998
B+

Couch Baron

3-5
Recap

BitchFest '98

Homecoming - Cordy and Buffy run against each other for Homecoming Queen, and bitch at each other so hard that they barely notice when Mr. Trick rounds up some baddies to try to kill them. Needless to say, the baddies get bitch-slapped. I'll keep you in suspense as to who wins the crown. Oh wait, I totally won't -- it's neither of them. In other news, we meet the Mayor. Everyone's scared of him. Including me.

11.02.1998
11.06.1998
A

Couch Baron

3-4
Recap

Abuse is bad, mmmkay?

Beauty And The Beasts - That's the PSA brought to us by Marti Noxon this week. But shockingly, it's not enough to completely ruin the episode. There's snappy dialogue, and fun interactions between the characters, and -- hey, where are you going? Come back! Give it a chance!

10.19.1998
10.22.1998
B-

Couch Baron

3-3
Recap

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Faith, Hope And Trick - New characters that are actually interesting, that is. There's Faith! She slays! She eats! She does other things that I can't mention here! And there's Mr. Trick! He's dashing! He's dastardly! And then there's Scott Hope. Well, see above.

10.12.1998
10.15.1998
B+

Couch Baron

3-2
Recap

Dead Crappy Episode

Dead Man's Party - Buffy's back from running away! Let's throw her a party! That is, if by "party" you mean "a bunch of self-righteous friends and lots of verbal abuse."

10.05.1998
10.08.1998
D+

Couch Baron

3-1
Recap

Hell is in the eye of the beholder

Anne - Buffy's run away from home and from being the Slayer, but a street urchin reminds her of her past life. In the end, to our relief, she goes home.

09.28.1998
09.30.1998
C+

Couch Baron

2-22
Recap

Becoming, Part II

Becoming, Part II - Buffy expresses regret that she allowed Willow to try the curse. She reaches out to smooth hair off of Willow's forehead as Xander stands by, fiddling gently with the blanket. Oh, man. You know, I've seen this episode a million times and I would have thought myself immune, but here I am already with tears in my eyes.

05.18.1998
05.18.1998

Ace

2-21
Recap

Becoming, Part I

Becoming, Part I - Is there even anything new to say about David Boreanaz's atrocious Irish accent that hasn't already been said numerous times on MBTV? I didn't think so.

05.11.1998
05.11.1998

Sep

2-20
Recap

"Do You Have Any Decent Episodes We Could Air This Week?"

Go Fish - In the worst episode of the season, our biggest concern is whether Xander is going to turn into a fish. He does wear a Speedo, if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, and some guys in rubber suits flop around and try to be menacing. I think the monster in Dawson Leery's movie looked more real than they do.

05.04.1998
05.07.1998
C

Couch Baron

2-19
Recap

I Only Have Eyes For You

I Only Have Eyes For You - Say, do you think this story will have strong parallels with Buffy's love life? As if Little Miss It's-All-About-Me needed any more reasons to think that it's all about her.

04.27.1998
04.27.1998
D

Ace

2-18
Recap

A Hellmouth On Elm Street

Killed By Death - A blatant Freddy Krueger rip-off is sucking the life out of young kids. Meanwhile, Angelus puts Buffy in the hospital. Several plots collide as Buffy has to battle a high fever to avenge the death of her dear, sweet cousin Celia. Who? Exactly.

03.02.1998
03.05.1998
B-

Couch Baron

2-17
Recap

Passion

Passion - Since by season two the show actually had a special-effects budget greater than whatever cash Joss happened to have in his pocket on any given day, we get to see Angelus morph back into his human visage. Huh. Who knew that the morphing process automatically overgelled your hair?

02.23.1998
02.23.1998

Sep

2-16
Recap

Got The Love

Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered - Xander's got the love of every girl in Sunnydale after a botched spell. It's damn fine comedy, people.

02.09.1998
02.12.1998
B+

Couch Baron

2-15
Recap

All About Oz

Phases - A werewolf appears in Sunnydale. After a bit of suspense, we learn that it's Oz. Willow doesn't care, and still wants to date him. Wouldn't you?

01.26.1998
01.29.1998
B+

Couch Baron

2-14
Recap

Innocence (2)

Innocence (2) - This episode is an extremely good forty-four minutes of television, and I'm a big sap who can't think of too many snide things to say while I'm sniffling over teen angst and groping for the Kleenex.

01.19.1998
01.19.1998

Ace

2-13
Recap

Surprise (1)

Surprise (1) - Smack, slurp, smooch. Buffy has to go to school. Smooch, slurp, smack. Angel reminds Buffy that she has to go to school. Slurp, smack, smooch. Buffy tells Angel that she likes "seeing [him] at bedtime" and that "the part at the end of the night where we say good-bye. It's getting harder." Harder to watch, maybe.

01.18.1998
01.18.1998

Sep

2-12
Recap

Yee-Haw!

Bad Eggs - What do you get when you throw vampire rednecks into an episode that already has mind-controlling parasites? Some people's worst episode ever, and other people's cheesy fun. The Couch Baron's in the latter camp.

01.11.1998
01.14.1998
B-

Couch Baron

2-11
Recap

Come And Knock On Her Door

Ted - Joyce is looking for some sweet, sweet lovin', so she gets hold of a portly robot played by John Ritter. Joyce, you might want to invest in a simpler electric device -- it won't try to kill you.

12.07.1997
12.10.1997
B-

Couch Baron

2-10
Recap

Bad Daddies And Bondage Fun

What's My Line?, Part II - Spike kidnaps Angel for the ritual to restore Dru to health, but Dru gets to tie him up and torture him first. Does it mean anything that Angel shows the most personality we've seen from him after torture and bondage? Best not to read too much into that.

11.23.1997
11.26.1997
B+

Couch Baron

2-9
Recap

Eat Your Heart Out, Tonya Harding

What's My Line?, Part I - An assassin comes after Buffy at the ice rink, and gets a skate blade buried in his neck. That would have been much funnier if it had happened to Nancy Kerrigan.

11.16.1997
11.18.1997
B

Couch Baron

2-8
Recap

Linda Blair She Ain't

The Dark Age - A demon possesses Miss Calendar. It's Exorcist extra-lite. High point: Ethan Rayne's back, and looking pretty tasty.

11.09.1997
11.12.1997
B-

Couch Baron

2-7
Recap

We'll Always Have Hemery

Lie To Me - An old friend of Buffy's shows up in Sunnydale to teach her some lessons about trust and moral absolutes. It's not too much fun, but it's quite poignant.

11.02.1997
11.05.1997
A

Couch Baron

2-6
Recap

Rayne Of Terror

Halloween - Ethan Rayne casts a spell to turn little kids into monsters. That's not the biggest stretch I've ever heard.

10.26.1997
10.29.1997
B+

Couch Baron

2-5
Recap

...or are you just happy to see me?

Reptile Boy - A bunch of frat boys worship a giant phallus. Is this in any way supposed to be news?

10.12.1997
10.15.1997
C+

Couch Baron

2-4
Recap

Pointless shrivel

Inca Mummy Girl - Xander's love life veers yet again into "oh, brother" territory when a revived Incan mummy in too-tight jeans takes a fancy to him. Willow pines and gnaws whale blubber while Buffy and Giles solve the mystery with dialogue clunkier than a Steve Madden platform sandal. On the plus side: Oz!

10.05.1997
10.08.1997
C

Sars

2-3
Recap

...With A Vengeance

School Hard - In this homage to Die Hard, newcomer Spike and a bunch of henchvamps attack the school on Parent-Teacher Night, forcing Buffy to rely on guerrilla tactics to take them out. There's no Alan Rickman, but it's still very entertaining.

09.28.1997
09.30.1997
A

Couch Baron

2-2
Recap

...Lots Of Screaming Optional

Some Assembly Required - Cordy screams and screams and screams, and then she screams some more. There's a Frankenstein rip-off too, but that's much less entertaining.

09.21.1997
09.24.1997
B-

Couch Baron

2-1
Recap

...she was whore-id

When She Was Bad - Well, that's a little harsh, but she does perform a "sexy" dance at the Bronze that's part slutty, part ridiculous. Buffy comes back from summer vacation with a "Joan Collins 'tude," but some quality time with a mallet eases her pain. I'll have to try that.

09.14.1997
09.17.1997
A

Couch Baron

1-12
Recap

Death becomes her

Prophecy Girl - Not as much as life, though. Buffy dies at the hands of the Master. With a little help from Xander, however, she comes back and turns the tables. Oh, and get the tissues out, because it's that kind of episode.

06.01.1997
06.04.1997
A+

Couch Baron

1-11
Recap

Now You See Me. Now You Don't. Now I Kill You.

Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight - A teenage girl gets ignored to the point where she actually becomes invisible. This inspires Cordy and Buffy to confide in each other about how terrible being pretty and popular is. Overhearing this sentiment, the invisible girl tries to kill them both, and I can't say I completely blame her. However, the Scoobs win out in the end. I know. Can you believe it?

05.18.1997
05.20.1997
B-

Couch Baron

1-10
Recap

Buffy the Slayer Vampire

Nightmares - That's what we get for a couple scenes, when Buffy's nightmare comes true. Can anyone explain to me why SMG is the only person on the show who's ever managed not to lisp while wearing prosthetic fangs?

05.11.1997
05.14.1997
B+

Couch Baron

1-9
Recap

The Puppet Show

The Puppet Show - Cordelia singing is the scariest part of this whole episode, and considering that the episode prominently features a ventriloquist's dummy, I think that's saying a lot.

05.04.1997
05.04.1997
D

Ace

1-8
Recap

So what's this "internet" of which you speak?

I Robot, You Jane - If you know the answer to this question, you're way past thinking that the issues presented by this episode are au courant. Giles and Miss Calendar take time out from bickering about technology to cast a demon that's stalking Willow out of the internet. No, really. That's it.

04.27.1997
04.30.1997
C

Couch Baron

1-7
Recap

Angel

Angel - Willow correctly deduces that Buffy is deficient in the guy department.

04.13.1997
04.13.1997
D

Sep

1-6
Recap

The Prat Pack

The Pack - It's yet another name for the "bullies" in this episode. I knew scarier people in kindergarten. Why yes, I am from New York. How did you know?

04.06.1997
04.10.1997
B-

Couch Baron

1-5
Recap

Never Kill A Boy On The First Date

Never Kill A Boy On The First Date - As Buffy scoffs, Giles informs her that she's expending too much "time and energy" and instead her technique should be "plunge and move on." Sounds like too many guys I knew in college.

03.30.1997
03.30.1997
D

Ace

1-4
Recap

A Bug's Life

Teacher's Pet - The new substitute teacher isn't just Jocelyn Wildenstein -- she's also a She-Mantis, and she's got designs on Xander. An ice age later, the Scoobs finally defeat her.

03.23.1997
03.26.1997
C

Sars

1-3
Recap

Witch

Witch - Buffy assures Giles that she won't neglect her duties, but she wants to do "something normal. Something safe." Hey, this is before Joss learned to be subtle with the foreshadowing, isn't it?

03.16.1997
03.16.1997

Sep

1-2
Recap

The Harvest (2)

The Harvest (2) - Xander protests against having a serious conversation containing the word "vampire," while Willow sits quietly, looking pale. Well, paler than usual.

03.09.1997
03.10.1997
A+

Ace

1-1
Recap

Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Welcome To The Hellmouth (1) - Welcome to the very first ever episode of Buffy. Let's get to it.

03.09.1997
03.09.1997

Sep

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