Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 817 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
...or are you just happy to see me?

In the other room, Buffy and Tom dance. Tom attempts more self-deprecation. He observes that Buffy doesn't look happy to be there. Dude, Kurt almost just steamrolled her. Give her a minute. Buffy says she shouldn't be there, as she has obligations, and people who depend on her. The rest of the scene's repetitive and boring. They keep dancing. Elsewhere, Xander is putting on a food "comedy" act for two girls. Despite the fact that they seem to be amused, this performance causes his picture to replace Judd Winick's next to "dork" in the dictionary. Richard observes this scene with contempt. I have to give credit; although we know he's evil, it's a reasonably subtle touch that Cordy isn't with him. Like she'd leave him alone for a minute if she were conscious! Kurt and Ram join Richard. Kurt: "Who's this dork?" Gay minds think alike. They quickly realize that they have a crasher on their hands. The three approach him. Kurt and Ram grab him and drag him off, shouting, "New pledge!" Any wonder those two are, er, handling the pledges?

Buffy walks outside. I hope there's no breeze, because the length of Buffy's dress is not familiar with the term "margin for error." She picks up a piece of broken glass, and looks up at the window Callie jumped through at the beginning of the episode, which is boarded up. Tom appears behind her. He asks if she's okay, and she says she was just thinking. Richard comes out of the house, blathering something about Argentinean junk bonds that hilariously dates the episode, and hands Buffy and Tom each a drink. Tom, looking askance at Richard, toasts maturity. Buffy says she's over maturity, and downs her drink in one gulp. So Buffy's drunk twice on the show that I can remember, and has had two near-death experiences. I'm lucky I don't live in the Jossverse -- I'd probably have to cheat death two or three times a day. And let's not even start on all the smoking and the gay sex.

In the library, Willow and Giles are trying to figure out what word was on the full bracelet. Willow eventually realizes that the bracelet is from Kent, a nearby prep school. She pulls up Kent's school newsletter, and discovers an article about Callie's disappearance. Back at The Meathead Lair Of Love, Kurt and Ram are dolling Xander up with lipstick, a blonde wig, and a stuffed bra that could provide ample shade for a small child. They make him dance. Buffy appears from a doorway, and doesn't look well. She staggers up the stairs. Boys and girls alike whoop it up for Xander. Ram paddles his ass. That's slightly funny. Buffy opens the door to an empty room, lies down on the bed, and passes out. Richard enters, and leers at Buffy's prone form. He sits down on the bed. Oh, ew. Inexplicably, he sticks his thumb out, and advances it toward her. Huh?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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