Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 12 USERS: A+

They exit the curtains into a classroom, where Buffy asks Willow what the attacker looked like. Willow says she doesn't know, and Buffy accuses her of having done something to provoke the attack. They continue walking towards the front of the room as Willow denies having done anything, saying, "I'm very seldom naughty." She explains about the play, and Buffy snaps that the play is long over and Willow should get out of costume. Willow tries to explain that she's not wearing a costume, but Buffy demands she remove it. Willow protests that she needs it, but Buffy rips the clothes right off her back. The camera pulls back and the room is now filled with students. Buffy takes a seat and Harmony bitches, "See, is everybody very clear on this now?" Anya snickers. Willow is standing in front of the class in season-one nerd-wear: long, long hair, little jumper dress, and white tights. Anya snerks, "It's like a tragedy." Oz leans in close to Tara and, looking very cozy, whispers to her, "I tried to warn you." The class snickers as Willow shifts uncomfortably. She begins to present a book report on The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Xander shouts, "Who cares?" Oz nuzzles Tara's ear as she grins. Willow tries to continue with her report but is attacked by a crazy-haired creature which throws her to the ground. The class looks on nonchalantly and makes no move to help as the creature sucks the life out of Willow. In the Summers's living room, Willow gasps and chokes in her sleep.

Willow gasps for air on the couch. On the floor, Xander jerks awake and asks if he missed anything. Buffy and Giles are awake eating popcorn and Buffy says he missed "a bunch of massacring." On the TV, a soldier walks through the jungle calling to his men. Giles says he thinks Apocalypse Now is overrated, but Xander assures him it gets better. On the screen, the soldier can't find his men, and screams. Buffy offers Xander "new-car smell" popcorn, and as he eats a handful he notices the gasping Willow. He asks what's wrong, and Buffy calls Willow a "big faker." Giles says he finally understands that Apocalypse Now is "all about the journey." So dream Xander thinks Giles has an elaborate grasp of the obvious? Xander replies, "Thanks for making me have to pee," and heads off up the stairs. As he enters the upstairs hallway, Joyce comes out of her bedroom, dressed in a red negligee and robe. Xander greets her as "Joyce" and then corrects himself to "Mrs. Summers." She tells him the others have left already, and he says he should go and catch up. Joyce lounges against the door frame seductively and my skin starts to crawl. Xander and Joyce? Ewww. Xander explains, "A man's always after . . ." and Joyce finishes, "Conquest?" Xander confirms, "I'm a conquistador." She then asks him if he's sure he isn't actually looking for comfort, but her lips don't move as she says it. Xander replies, "I'm a comfortador also," after which Joyce asks if Xander would like to rest and gestures towards her bed. Xander replies that he'd like that, but he has to go to the bathroom first. He continues down the hall; Joyce looks after him and then slinks into her bedroom. Xander enters the bathroom, puts up the seat, and prepares to do his business. He then suspiciously looks over his shoulder to see a whole Initiative-style room of scientists and soldiers curiously watching him. He zips back up and goes to find another bathroom. He opens the door to Buffy's room and walks through, but ends up in his basement apartment instead. Something is rattling the handle to the door upstairs and ominous music plays. Xander looks up at the door and says, "That's not the way out."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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